Hi everyone, going to try keep this short & sweet (also v tired so apologies for errors) but saw people were still responding to my original post. Thank you all for taking the time to do so, it’s been overwhelming but so needed & I’ve tried to take your advice to heart.

I saw ‘Alice’ a few days ago. She came to our house unexpectedly (I actually had just gone out, my wife had to call me), this was after she had blocked me.

I know a lot of you were upset with her (and a lot of you with her guy, but we’re getting to it) but I was just so damn happy to see her I immediately started bawling, she did too.

She apologised, so did I. We had a long conversation which I’ll kinda try to summarise. Everything that happened had been a lot for her (which is so fair) & she was having a hard time processing it, but she initially didn’t feel upset with me. Her husband had been furious though. He already isn’t our biggest fan so this really set him off, at her as well.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame him for being upset about his car. But I do wish we had had different/better communication.

He had been fuming we hadn’t reached out sooner after baby was born & that my first message wasn’t more apologetic.

In her words, over the weeks following everything, she started to feel angry at me/us, because he convinced her to & my messaging/reaching out then was just too much in that moment.

After our silence, she realised she wasn’t upset with me but the situation, and should be relieved everyone was okay (& even asked her husband to stop bringing it up as she was sick of it.) We agreed we really just wanted to be okay again, though she admitted she’d have to build it up slowly, because again, her husband.

I also apologised again for evth & how I wish I had done things differently. She even made a small joke that she’s proud to be such a big part of her birth story, which honestly gave me more relief than anything else she’s said.

I hope she will be okay. Don’t love the guy, but I can’t do more than be her friend I think.

Luckily the car isn’t totalled (I was terrified of this and feel stupid for not realising it was an option, thank you all for pointing it out). Only the front seat where I was sitting was messed up (& TMI, my sweat pants took the worst of the mess, I guess). Car is already cleaned/fixed (before Alice even came), he has it back & we’ve paid back everything. He doesn’t like driving it anymore.

That’s all I think. Wife, baby & I are okay. (She’s a month old already, which is WILD.) I realised I do have so trauma left from the whole birth which mostly started to hit me when I wasn’t obsessing over Alice anymore, so gonna work on that.

Thank you all, for the love, the support, but also for helping me realise I should’ve done things differently. Reddit can be overwhelming, but you’ve helped me a lot.

Edit: thank you all for the responses. I care way too much about what y’all think though (reddit may not be the best place for me hahaha) so gonna log off now. Thank you all loads, from the bottom of my heart. This was also my last update.