The Original Post
I (19F) posted an advertisement that I babysit. A lady from the area responded saying she has an 11 month old baby boy ill call “Toby”. I told her it’ll be £13 an hour and she said that’s fine she’ll be gone for 3 hours. When I turned up she greeted me while holding what looks like a baby. She handed me it saying “this is Toby”.
I then realised it was a doll. I wasn’t sure if maybe she had given me the doll to give to Toby or if she actually wanted me to babysit the doll so I asked “is there any other children in the house?” So if I had misunderstood her I could pass off as joking about it but I wouldn’t upset her if she really did think the doll was a baby. She said no just Toby.
She made me aware there’s baby monitors around just so she can have peace of mind that he’s ok. I said of course and she kissed the doll on the head before leaving. I basically just play pretended the doll was real. Hugging it. I put in a bouncer she had. Let it “sleep” in the crib. I went to the toilet at one point and on the wall there was a picture of a real baby that looked similar to the doll.
So I’m assuming this is her way of grieving. I cried a bit myself in the bathroom at this realisation. But I put on a happy face when I went downstairs and continued looking after the “baby” changed its nappy so if she was watching she could have peace of mind.
Once she came back she asked how he was. I told her he was so well behaved. I said because he was more well behaved than most babies I’ll only charge her for one hour.
She messaged me again asking if I could babysit another time. I haven’t responded yet. My friends don’t think I should because it’s taking advantage of her when she’s clearly mentally ill. I wouldn’t want to take advantage of her. It’s a really sad situation.
They also think I should tell her that it’s just a doll but I don’t know if I should do that. I don’t know if that’s the best way to go about the situation I think it’s not really my place.
What Reddit Said
Reddit overwhelmingly supported the babysitter’s compassionate response. Most users praised her kindness and emotional intelligence in handling such a delicate situation. However, they were split on whether she should continue the arrangement.
The top commenters emphasized that the mother likely knows it’s a doll deep down. They argued this is her way of processing grief and trauma. Meanwhile, some worried about enabling potentially unhealthy coping mechanisms. In fact, many pointed out that if she refuses, the next babysitter might not be as understanding or gentle.
Most Redditors strongly advised against telling the mother it’s “just a doll.” They recognized this could cause severe psychological harm to someone clearly working through loss.
The Verdict
The consensus: continue babysitting doll instead of baby, but proceed with compassion. Reddit believes the young woman’s kindness could provide crucial support during the mother’s healing process. This represents a rare situation where mental health sensitivity outweighs conventional logic. Moreover, her gentle approach demonstrates remarkable maturity in handling grief and loss situations.
Original post from r/TrueOffMyChest (6,089 upvotes, 488 comments)