I’ll try to keep this as concise as possible. My (33f) best friend since age 12 (33f) is pregnant with my little brother’s (27m) baby.

When they started dating I was over the moon! They have been crushing on each other for more than a decade and everything aligned and they finally got together. Her IUD failed and now they’re going to have a baby.

The baby situation is messy and complicated, but only slightly relevant. She has a 12 year old that refuses to see her and didn’t take good care of him when she did have him a few years back. She struggles with mental health but refuses to seek treatment and finds every reason possible to skip work, stay in bed, neglect obligations, My brother didn’t want kids, ever, but stood by her decision to keep it. My brother has a great career and is super stable. My best friend has a history of leaning on others for as much as possible, so my family is worried she’s going to expect him to take care of her and the baby while she contributes little to nothing. I’m supportive of their decision because I want my brother to be happy, and the baby’s my blood regardless of the less-than-ideal circumstances

I was set to plan and host the baby shower, as I did with her first son 12 years ago. This is a good time to mention that I broke up with my fiancé due to him cheating in April 2025, and prior to that, my best friend had moved in with him and I. When I moved out, she chose to continue living with my ex. It made me uncomfortable, but it’s not my place to try to dictate where she lives. He moved the girl he was cheating on me with into their house less than two months after I left.

My best friend has been particularly chummy with my ex and his new girl, and it hurts me to see how close they are when they engage on social media and when she mentions them. Anyway, we were hammering out details of the baby shower and she casually asked if I’d be comfortable with her inviting my ex and his girlfriend. I was honest and told her I wasn’t comfortable with it, not only because I don’t want to be around them, but because the party was going to be at my house and I don’t want them in my home. It was kind of a slap in the face that she had even asked. But when I responded, she became defensive and told me that she’d feel awful not inviting them because they’d been SO SUPPORTIVE and that I was making the day about me when it was supposed to be about her baby. So I told her that the day shouldn’t be about me, she could have it as she wanted it, but I chose to resign from baby shower duties to protect my own peace. I did kind of pettily tell her to ask them to fund and plan the party since they were “so supportive.”

We haven’t talked in over two months. I’m going to love that baby, and be there for my brother no matter what, but I think I’m recognizing that a long-time friend isn’t necessarily a good friend, and I need to cut ties. AITA for stepping away from the shower and the friendship?