Best Friends Become FWB After Failed Dating Attempt
The Original Post
So I posted a little while ago about how my best friend (M) and I (F) ended up sleeping together when he visited me after not seeing each other in person for years. I thought it was going to be a totally platonic trip, but we started cuddling, things escalated, and after we had sex he admitted he’d had feelings for me for 10 years, but he didn’t want to admit it to me before this because he didn’t want to ruin the friendship.
A lot has happened since then. After that we decided to try being in a relationship. That lasted about 10 days. It wasn’t bad, but it suddenly felt like there were expectations we weren’t ready for, especially being long distance. It went from our easy, natural best friend dynamic to feeling like we had to act like boyfriend and girlfriend immediately. We both started feeling pressured.
So we talked and agreed we might be better as best friends. EXCEPT we didn’t really go back to just friends. We’ve basically fallen into a FWB situation. We talk every day, flirt constantly, we’ve been doing phone sex, and we’re already planning the next time we’ll see each other. When we’re intimate we get really emotional, we’ve said “I love you” during sex, and we say a lot of romantic, affectionate things to each other in general. That’s what messes with my head the most.
Because honestly, I’ve been ridiculously happy. Being close with someone who’s been your safe place for years feels completely different, it’s safe, exciting, and comfortable all at once.
But I’m scared. I don’t know if stepping back from the relationship was maturity or just fear of change from both of our ends. I don’t know if FWB is actually sustainable when we’re already this emotionally tangled. I’m terrified of ruining a 10 year friendship, but I also can’t ignore how real everything feels.
Has anyone done best friends → tried dating → backed off to FWB because of long distance and pressure? Do you guys think this is going to make our friendship messier? What are your thoughts?
What Reddit Said
Reddit users found the situation hilariously obvious. The top comment pointed out that OP and her friend are doing exactly what couples do – they just refuse to use the label. Moreover, commenters emphasized that the pressure they felt was entirely self-imposed.
However, most Redditors were supportive rather than critical. They suggested the pair should embrace what they already have instead of overthinking it. In fact, many pointed out that avoiding other people while being emotionally and physically exclusive is literally just a relationship without the title.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: stop overthinking and embrace the relationship. This best friends to FWB relationship is actually just a committed partnership in disguise. Reddit’s advice was clear – keep doing exactly what they’re doing and accept that labels don’t change reality. This is a classic case of relationship confusion where fear is masquerading as practicality.
Original post from r/TrueOffMyChest (1,073 upvotes, 83 comments)