on Sunday, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years (Y) whom I lived with had cheated on me. I fell sick to my stomach. I immediately called a friend and she told me to grab as much of my stuff as I could + my cats while “Y” was gone & come stay at her apartment. I did. then, I went back to our house to break up with him. We talked for 3 hours, I cried most of them. but I felt so proud of how calmly I spoke and stayed rooted in my decision to leave someone who would treat me that way. He begged me not to do this. I told him I loved him and that I’d keep in touch to get the rest of my things. & we have. No anger, we’ve talked the past couple days, just a lot of hurt.

We are both actors/singers in theatre. He was currently producing a show in which he’s the lead and the girl he cheated on me with (who pursued him knowing we were together and while acting like my friend) was his scene partner. I’m currently on a break from theatre. I have no idea how, but the whole cast found out the day after our breakup that he had cheated on me with her & I’d left. Apparently, they were absolutely PISSED. We were both friends with most of them from doing shows together, and they were extremely upset that he did this to me. It started a conversation among the cast that they felt uncomfortable that he’d crossed that line as a producer with a cast member. As of tonight, over half of the cast including the directors decided to walk; they all said they’d quit if Y didn’t step down from his role. He did not step down, so they all quit and the show was cancelled.

As much as he hurt me, I didn’t want that outcome; I’m not a vengeful person. in fact, I really wish this hadn’t happened because it’s hard to even process being cheated on when it’s suddenly being talked about by a big community of people, all reaching out and making decisions and turning it into a huge event. I was still going to go see the show to support my friends.

I went by the house to make sure Y was okay. I knocked on the door and saw a shadow of someone running away to hide upstairs. He answered the door. I asked if he was okay, and he answered very angrily. He told me the girl he cheated with was there. “Wow.” I said, “I just wanted to check on you. but I guess you’re okay.” He started accusing me of getting people to drop the show. I was in disbelief. I shut it down immediately, but as we talked for a bit, he just continued going from “I’m sorry, you’re right, this isn’t your fault” to accusing me of being part of it to “I am a victim. People did this TO ME. They’re punishing me.” When I eventually left, I drove back to my friend’s apartment feeling so manipulated. so guilty for this show being cancelled.

all I did was get cheated on and find out about it.

I know that he is being extremely manipulative and that I have NOTHING to feel guilty for, but I just needed somewhere to type this out because he really got in my head. I am so heartbroken, but I am proud of myself for knowing my worth and leaving. I can’t believe I didn’t see this side of him for 2 years.