Boyfriend Tests Positive for Chlamydia, Denies Cheating
The Original Post
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years. Heās in the military and before anyone jumps in with āall military men cheat,ā Iām not trying to hear that right now.
On February 5th, he told me he tested positive for chlamydia. He was very calm about it. I work from home, and he came into the office and said, āI need to talk to you when you have a second.ā I finished what I was doing and went to talk to him.
He said, āSo you know how I got tested today? Well⦠I tested positive for chlamydia. Did you sleep with anyone while I was away?ā
I was shocked. I said, āOh wow, omg. You tested positive? How? No, I did not sleep with or kiss anyone while you were away. Did you sleep with anyone? Because I know for a fact I didnāt.ā
He said, āNo, I would never sleep with anyone. I was deployed and working the entire time. I barely had time for myself.ā
So now Iām sitting there thinking⦠then how is this possibleā¦
I told him Iād go get tested immediately, hoping maybe it was a false positive. I left work early and got tested. Two days later, my results came back: positive. I have chlamydiaā¦.
Iām in shock. Iām crying. Iām overthinking. Iām trying to find any possible loophole, any explanation for how this could happen,,, but the truth is, there is no way this happens without one of us cheating.
TIMELINE
He was gone from September 2025 to December 13th, 2025.
I got an IUD on November 20th and had STI testing done that same day everything came back negative. So the only āwindowā where I couldāve supposedly hooked up with someone else was the three weeks between that test and when he came home.
But during that time, I was visiting my parents for Thanksgiving. When I came home the week of December 8th, I was working and preparing for his arrival. I learned how to make butter chicken for the first time for him, made a welcome home sign, I cleaned the whole apartment I was so excited.
He came home, and obviously we had sex. A lot. Everything seemed great until December 29th, when he said he could feel my IUD poking him. The doctor had told me that was normal, but then he said his penis was swollen and hurting a little. That was weird, so I messaged my doctor.
I told the doctor he was having irritation after intercourse, discomfort, itching, and that he felt a poking sensation. I asked if it could be related to my IUD.
Doctors response:
The poking sensation is likely from the IUD strings, but the irritation and discomfort are probably not related.
At the time, I didnāt think much of it. But now, typing this out, that was a very clear sign of chlamydia. I got my IUD removed not because of him but for other medical reasons and switched to Nexplanon. He didnāt mention any more irritation, and I didnāt have symptoms, so I didnāt even consider cheating back then.
Now weāre here. Both of us tested positive. And Iām losing my mind. Iāve researched. I talked to my doctor. Every single explanation leads back to the same conclusion: he had sex with someone else.
I told him this. I said, āPlease just tell me the truth. I wonāt be mad. I just want honesty.ā
He said, āIām telling you the truth. Youāre the only person Iāve had sex with in this relationship.ā
That phrasing didnāt hit me until later. Heās the type of person who avoids ālyingā by being technically truthful. Saying āin this relationshipā instead of āin generalā is⦠suspicious idk just a random thought.
He left yesterday for training. Heās supposed to come back Friday, but he could deploy again at any moment. So now Iām home alone with all of this.
He keeps saying we can go to the doctor together and ask how this is possible if neither of us cheated. And part of me thinks, āIf heās willing to go to the doctor, maybe heās not lying.ā But realistically, heās just clinging to confusion because itās safer than admitting the truth.
I know heās lying because I know I didnāt cheat. But he wonāt admit it. I donāt know how to get the truth out of him. I just want him to say it so I can stop spiraling.
Heās acting completely normal! Heās talking about our future, being loving with me and this is all normal we always are loving and talk about our future and goals. But all of this is making me feel insane! My heart hurts. Iām confused. And now that heās gone, I can finally think clearly without his actions convincing weāre okay.
Iām planning to start packing my things and move back in with my parents. But I feel like I need him to just say he cheated so I can feel some kind of closure.
I donāt know what to do.
What Reddit Said
Reddit immediately saw through the boyfriend’s lies. The top comment pointed out the most damning evidence: his calm, normal behavior. If he truly believed she had cheated, he would be devastated and angry, not planning their future together.
Users emphasized that she doesn’t need his confession to move forward. Moreover, they noted his suspicious word choice when he said he only had sex with her “in this relationship” – a classic deflection technique. The timeline made it medically impossible for her to be the source.
The Verdict
The consensus was crystal clear: the boyfriend cheated during deployment. This case where a boyfriend tested positive chlamydia denies cheating shows classic gaslighting behavior. However, Reddit advised OP that she doesn’t need his admission to leave. The medical evidence speaks for itself, and his calm demeanor proves he knows exactly what happened.
Original post from r/relationship_advice (1,474 upvotes, 938 comments)