A guy defended his three adopted sisters after his girlfriend called them ungrateful. She accused him of being in love with them, turning simple family loyalty into adopted sisters drama that’s threatening their relationship.

The Backstory

When OP was sixteen, his family adopted three girls from his high school. Their mother had died and they had no other family. CPS was about to take them. OP was close with one of the sisters and saw what they’d been through. This included substance issues and older men taking advantage of them.

His parents treated them like real family. They helped with school, college, cars, and apartments. Now everyone’s in their late twenties. The adopted sisters have mostly drifted away from the family. They rarely visit or reach out.

OP’s mom feels hurt and used by their distance. His girlfriend is close with his mom and has absorbed her frustration. The girlfriend dislikes the sisters even though she’s only met them twice.

The Incident

The girlfriend’s employer mentioned knowing the sisters in high school. The employer said they were rude. OP responded that two had that reputation but the third was well-liked. That was all he said.

His girlfriend immediately went on the attack. She asked why he always defends them. She wanted to know why he’s so protective and why he can’t admit they were ungrateful. OP tried explaining that he saw what they lived through.

She mocked him for this. She said “Oh boo hoo, did you have to protect them?” Then she escalated further. She asked if he was in love with them.

The accusation really bothered OP. He felt ridiculous for trying to be understanding. He noticed she seems to enjoy hearing negative things about the sisters. The argument lasted all day and got worse.

OP ended up calling her insecure, crazy, and pathetic. He regrets the name-calling but felt like she was gaslighting him. Now she says he’s ruining their relationship because he’s “defending a sister he’s in love with.”

What Reddit Said

Most people said OP was not the asshole. They pointed out that his girlfriend was being unkind to people she barely knows. Commenters noted that all she knows about the sisters is that they had difficult lives.

Some pointed out similarities between his girlfriend and his mother. They suggested he might be attracted to familiar personality types. Several people noted this pattern of dating people like our parents, especially when those parents have difficult traits.

A few suggested the girlfriend’s behavior was a red flag. They questioned why she would revel in unkindness toward vulnerable people. Many said her jealousy over family relationships was concerning.

Others defended OP’s perspective on the sisters. They agreed that the girls never asked for a new family. The adoption happened during trauma, and wanting space as adults makes sense. Commenters supported the idea that kindness shouldn’t require perfect returns.

Some criticized the name-calling during the fight. They said both people handled the argument poorly. But most still sided with OP on the core issue about defending his adopted sisters.

The Verdict

Overall verdict: OP is NTA (Not the Asshole). His girlfriend’s jealousy over family relationships crosses a line. Accusing someone of romantic feelings toward adopted siblings is manipulative and cruel.

This adopted sisters drama reveals deeper issues about empathy and boundaries. The girlfriend’s enjoyment of negative gossip about vulnerable people shows poor character. While the name-calling was wrong, her behavior was the real problem. For more stories about complex family dynamics, check out our family drama and AITA stories sections. Similar relationship conflicts can be found in our relationship drama category.

From r/AmItheAsshole (1,043 upvotes)