The Original Post
As title states. We were playing cards last night and while he was putting away the cards into the box, he asked me to close my eyes for a surprise. I did, he snuck my favourite ring into the box and gave it to me. I opened it, saw it, rolled my eyes, and he thought it was very funny.
He’s also faked other proposals in the past when bending down to tie shoelaces etc. I’d say about 4 or 5 times in total.
Important context is that neither of us want to get married so it is very obviously a joke.
He got really ruffled when I asked him to explain what was funny about it. My goal with this was either: to be in on the joke so I could laugh with him, or to ask him to stop because it feels slightly humiliating.
I pressed him further when he didn’t really answer my questions and he said he didn’t like to put much thought into it.
My feelings towards it are weird. I feel like I’m the butt of a joke and not like we are joking around together. I don’t feel like I’m ‘in’ on the joke or understanding it in any way. My worst fear is that he will fake a proposal around other people and I’d end up in a really awkward situation. I tried to explain this but my partner has a habit of shutting down when I bring problems to him. (He also got really offended when I told him the worst fear, saying ‘how could you think I would do that’. I feel kinda gaslit!)
Has anyone ever dealt with this before? It’s caused a pretty serious argument, he’s shut down entirely and hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday. what the hell do I do
What Reddit Said
Reddit immediately zeroed in on the boyfriend’s communication problems. Most users pointed out that his habit of shutting down during serious conversations is a massive red flag. However, commenters were split between addressing the fake proposals or focusing on his emotional immaturity.
The top comment highlighted how concerning it is that a 28-year-old man can’t handle basic relationship discussions. Meanwhile, other Redditors offered creative solutions, suggesting OP turn the tables by rejecting his fake proposals dramatically. In fact, many users suspected this wasn’t really about proposals at all, but about his inability to communicate like an adult.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: this boyfriend fake proposal joke situation reveals deeper relationship issues. Reddit identified this as classic communication problems mixed with potential emotional manipulation. Moreover, his silent treatment response suggests he’s not ready for a mature relationship, regardless of marriage plans.
Original post from r/relationship_advice (2,614 upvotes, 173 comments)