This morning, as my boyfriend was getting ready to leave for work, he asked me a succession of questions (Do you have a USB-C cable I can borrow? What am I cooking tonight? Do we have beef? Is it going to rain today?). He was in a rush and I was having breakfast at the table, from where I can reach the under-counter fridge. After the ‘do we have beef’ question, I just shrugged like I didn’t know and opened the fridge so he could see inside. He went ‘okay, cool’ from across the table and then asked me about the weather. I said ‘I don’t know, I’m not your Siri.’

He went ‘I’m just asking you a question’ and I went ‘You’ve asked me lots of questions’ and then something like ‘people ask their mom or their secretary things like this’. He got annoyed and said I was being weird, then left saying ‘you’re just angry cus I asked you to turn off the light in the bedroom’ (we disagree over what counts as ‘wasteful’ use of electricity – I don’t think having one small lamp in the other room lit so I can see where I’m going when I walk in there in twenty minutes is wasteful, he does).

This was all sort of joking, but I could tell he was annoyed. For context, we’ve been together over six years, we moved in together nine months ago, and we’ve spoken many times before about gender roles/division of labour/partner expectations, including in couples therapy. I know he has good intentions and that he was in a rush. I could’ve answered his questions and told him later to please check these things for himself and not leave the mental load up to me. On the other hand, these are the moments where I feel it’s most productive to call out the dynamics I want to avoid. AITA for being snarky and telling him in the moment?

TL;DR Longtime boyfriend asked me four questions in a row as he was rushing out the house and I told him not to treat me like his secretary, which he thought was weird and unreasonable.