Hey all. Gotta put this somewhere so I decided here was the best place.
I 35f am a hefty girl. Not much of a looker and my personality has been described as a chronically depressed feral cat. I dont say this to bash myself- it just is what it is.

However, I have always been the girl that dudes will f*ck and then never admit to it in public. It’s fine, really- I’ve had some seriously hilarious moments because of it over the years.

It’s been 4 years since my one and only serious relationship ended after only lasting a year. Before and after that I have had plenty of physical interactions but no emotionally fulfilling ones.

I met Stan (now 52M) (fake name) in 2019. He had a daughter, and was a regular at the convenience store we both lived near. I met him as he was divorcing his wife. We became easy acquaintances, which progressed to true friends over time. I saw all his relationships after his ex wife. How careful he was, never introducing them to his daughter right away, always trying to learn and grow from every interaction. He saw all my fumbling around life, deep overwhelming depression, and the rise and fall of that one relationship I had. He never wavered, and in fact saved my life more than once by talking to me on his porch until almost 4am. Through it all we were still just friends.

Then came Annie (50F). Stan had known her since high school and they had on again off again contact throughout the years. They started to date and thing went great- until it didn’t. Annie was a true covert narcissist and an alcoholic. Once she was comfortable in the relationship shit started to hit the fan, over and over. Noone was safe from her judgement or mind tricks- not even Stan’s daughter. After 2 years they finally broke up, but stayed in minimal contact. Stan was just finally seeing how toxic she was and had started going to therapy. He had ultimately ended the relationship to protect his kid and his own mental sanity. I had been supportive of him and whatever choices he made during the relationship but did occasionally play “devils advocate” questioning some of the choices and comments she openly made, trying to get him to see for himself how awful she really was.

Stan had to move suddenly at the middle of last year. He needed a 2 bedroom (he has partial custody of his kid and makes sure his home is always a safe and welcoming space for her no matter what). Rent in our area is outrageous and he was feeling the pressure to find new living accommodations before the deadline. During one of their dwindling conversations Annie made a comment that if Stan *really* needed help with rent, that I would be a great “safe” candidate to live with as a roommate. Stan mentioned this to me during conversation before the impending move. I snorted in disgust, and Stan asked what i was laughing at.

I very calmly explained that she was being a “mean girl” with her comment. He questioned me further and i finally outright told him that she still wanted to keep her hooks in him, and she assumed that I was ugly enough he could live with me and not f*ck me. He looked shocked and asked how i got that from just a few comments. I laid it all out- her subtle shitty comments about my weight in front of him when they were together, her digging questions about my “menial” job, and finally her use of the word “safe”. As i laid it all out i saw the realization cross his face that i was right and Annie was just being a b*tch with her assessment of me as a person and potential roommate.

It didnt happen that night but a few weeks later. Gave him the ride of his life, and he commented after that screwing me was the first time he hadnt thought about her in weeks. He thanked me, and complimented the romp around really casually, but i could tell it lifted his spirits and he really did have fun. Did it a few more times just for funsies, to make sure it wasnt a fluke/pity screw, and so i had the knowledge that she will never know because they are no contact now, but Ill remember 😉

Stan and I are still great friends, and occasionally romp just for the hell of it. Hes had a few other short lived relationships that never grew to much. I know he will never love me romantically but I still find great pleasure in knowing the evil witch is outta the picture and i was never as “safe” as she thought i was.