The Original Post
I’m getting married in a little over 2 months, and my fiancée is adamant about not having kids at the wedding (it’s a very HARD no). I am of course backing her, as I don’t really have a strong opinion either way, but I know she’ll be more stressed out if there are kids running about at the venue.
My sister has 2 toddlers and is traveling cross-country to be at the wedding, but now she is sort of dropping the problem of what to do with her kids on us. Saying “I hope you don’t have too big of an issue when I bring them along”.
I get that it’s far away and there’s limit babysitting options (if she trusted anyone with her kids) but is it my responsibility to cater for her kids so she can come to my wedding?
Update:
I should disclaim we only officially said no kids in the invites we sent about a week ago, it wasn’t mentioned in the save-the-date.
I called my sister and told her I can arrange for her kids to stay the 6 hours of the events with my best man’s mom, as we’ve been friends since high school and she is acquainted with him. But she doesn’t seem too keen.
**Later update:**
I asked, and you guys answered. Thanks for the people who pointed out that the info should’ve been on the save-the-date, I confess I wasn’t very present in the arrangements at that time, and I did apologise to my sister for not communicating that earlier.
So I had a chat with the venue to arrange a room further away from the actual ceremony and reception area, but still in the same building, to set up as a “play room” for the kids.
My sister and her husband (or our other family members in attendance) will have to take turns to stay and check on the kids for as long as they attend (as the venue staff are limited and busy).
My fiancée agreed to this, as it is then still technically a child-free wedding. And I still believe she deserves the day she wants.
Overall a mess that could have been avoided, but this is the best I can do with the situation.
Thanks for all the feedback, I know the “unbiased third-party opinion” thing only works if the info is honest, so I am now aware of my a**hole-ish behavior in this.
What Reddit Said
Reddit was split on this messy situation, but most users leaned toward YTA (You’re the Asshole). However, many commenters noted that everyone involved handled things poorly. The top comment emphasized that parents shouldn’t be expected to leave their children with strangers, especially when family members aren’t available since they’re attending the same wedding.
Moreover, Redditors were particularly critical of the timing issue. Giving parents only two months’ notice about a child-free policy was seen as unfair and inconsiderate. Meanwhile, some users also called out the sister for her confrontational approach and the fiancée for being inflexible about family circumstances.
The Verdict
The consensus leaned toward ESH (Everyone Sucks Here), with many pointing to YTA for the groom specifically. This child free wedding sister drama highlighted poor communication and unrealistic expectations from all parties. The situation represents a common wedding drama where family relationships suffer due to rigid policies and last-minute planning. In the end, OP acknowledged his mistakes and found a compromise solution.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (1,485 upvotes, 961 comments)