Coworker Becomes Fermentation Expert in One Weekend, Dest…

I work in a medium-sized office. There’s this guy, let’s call him Dave.
Dave is the resident hobby guy.
Every Monday, Dave tells you about whatever he’s into that week. Last month it was sourdough. Before that, mechanical keyboards. You know the type.

So last week Dave starts going on about fermentation. Kimchi, kombucha, the whole thing. I’m nodding along like I always do, giving the standard “oh wow that’s cool” responses, when Dave hits me with “you don’t actually care do you.”

I felt bad. Dave’s a good dude. He’s just enthusiastic.
So I decided I’d actually learn about fermentation so I could have a real conversation with him. My roommate is kinda obsessed with learning something fast (think flashcards and beyond) so I basically tried some of the apps and techniques he was recommending.

**I overdid it.**

By Sunday night I had spent roughly 11 hours across two days learning about fermentation.
Not just kimchi and kombucha. I’m talking lactic acid fermentation at the molecular level. The history of fermented foods across civilizations. The gut microbiome. The difference between wild fermentation and controlled cultures.
I could explain the Maillard reaction and its relationship to fermented flavors. I knew about the 9,000-year-old Chinese fermented beverage found in Jiahu.

Monday morning I walk up to Dave’s desk and casually mention that his kimchi method probably produces more histamine than a slow wild fermentation.
Dave stares at me. I keep going.
I explain that traditional Korean onggi pots regulate oxygen better than his mason jars, and that his fermentation timeline is probably off because he’s not accounting for ambient temperature affecting lactobacillus growth rates.

Dave hasn’t spoken to me in four days.

I out-Dave’d Dave.
I took his thing and became better at it in a weekend.
He won’t even make eye contact in the kitchen. My other coworkers think I’ve lost my mind because I went from zero to fermentation professor overnight and won’t explain how.

I tried to apologize yesterday. He said “it’s fine” in the most not-fine voice I’ve ever heard. I think I genuinely hurt his feelings. He hasn’t mentioned a hobby since.

I killed Hobby Dave. I’m the reason we can’t have nice things.

TL;DR Coworker always talks about his hobbies, felt bad for not caring so I speed-learned his latest one. Knew too much. Intimidated him into silence. Office lost its most enthusiastic person and it’s my fault.

Edit:
typos