The Original Post
I (28M) work on a small team and there’s a newer guy on our team (I’ll call him Joe). We sit near each other and our work overlaps a lot so I’ve helped him out here and there.
A few weeks ago he asked me how I put together this weekly report we have to do. Over the years I’ve made my own template and a routine that makes it way faster.
He asked if I could send him my template file. I told him I’d happily walk him through how I do it and explain the steps but I didnt really want to just hand over my exact file. It’s basically my personal workflow and I’ve tweaked it forever.
So I stayed after work and spent about 45 minutes showing him everything. I shared my screen, explained where I pull the numbers, order I do things, what to watch out for, ALL of it. He took notes, thanked me, seemed totally normal about it.
The next week we had a team meeting and Joe presented his report for the first time. And I’m sitting there listening like this is basically my report. Same EVERYTHING even a couple little phrases I always use when I explain the numbers. When our boss asked him how he put it together Joe said something like “I built a simple structure that makes it easier” and left it at that, I mean no mention that I spent time walking him through it at all.
After the meeting I pulled him aside and said “hey, I’m glad it went well but it felt weird hearing you use my exact structure and wording and not even mentioning I helped you.” He got defensive right away and said he didnt think he needed to “credit” anyone for help and that I was being insecure for even bringing it up.
Since then he keeps asking again for the actual template file like “it would save time” and “I already understand it anyway.” I told him no and said I’ll answer questions if he’s stuck but I’m not sending him the file.
Now he’s been cold to me and I’ve heard he’s telling people I’m gatekeeping and trying to make him look bad. A couple coworkers said I should just send it because it’s a team environment and “it’s not that deep”
I dont want to be the difficult person but also feel like I already helped him a lot and he showed me exactly how he’s going to act with it.
AITA for refusing to send the template?
What Reddit Said
Redditors overwhelmingly supported OP in this workplace drama. The top comment summed it up perfectly: “If he wants credit for the work, he should do the work.” Most users were appalled by Joe’s audacity in taking full credit after receiving extensive help.
However, some commenters noted that Joe’s subsequent behavior revealed his true character. Moreover, his defensive reaction and demands for the template file showed he learned nothing from the confrontation. In fact, many praised OP for setting boundaries after seeing Joe’s ungrateful response.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP is Not the Asshole (NTA). This is a clear case where a coworker stole work template credit after receiving generous help. Reddit recognized this as classic workplace drama involving intellectual property theft. Therefore, OP was right to refuse sharing the actual file after Joe proved he couldn’t be trusted to give proper credit.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (1,704 upvotes, 380 comments)