This is a textbook case of custody manipulation disguised as parental concern. A divorced mother planned a Papa Roach concert months in advance, but when her 10-year-old daughter developed a mild cold during dad’s custody weekend drama erupted over who should care for the sick child.

The Backstory

The custody arrangement reveals a telling pattern. Mom handles weekdays, managing school, homework, and extracurricular activities because dad “can’t be bothered” with these responsibilities. Dad gets the easy weekend schedule – picking up Friday, returning Sunday morning.

During summer months, their daughter spends 90% of her time with mom or mom’s family. This lopsided arrangement already shows who carries the heavier parenting load.

Six months earlier, mom bought non-refundable concert tickets and accommodations for a show five hours away. She planned everything around the custody schedule, expecting to drop her daughter off Friday night as usual.

The Incident

The daughter developed cold symptoms during her previous weekend with dad – dry cough, slight fever, decreased appetite. Dad sent her back to mom despite the illness, showing no concern about mom catching whatever the child had.

Mom worked from home all week, providing constant care as the daughter slowly recovered. She kept dad updated on the child’s condition and confirmed the Friday handoff would proceed as scheduled.

Dad suddenly declared the exchange unacceptable. He demanded mom cancel her concert plans to avoid catching the illness – the same illness he’d already exposed himself to the previous weekend.

When mom insisted on following their custody agreement, dad escalated to name-calling. He labeled her a “selfish bitch” for expecting him to parent a mildly sick child during his designated time.

The daughter’s own response cut through the custody weekend drama perfectly: “I want to go play minecraft with dad.” She showed no distress about the arrangement, only excitement about weekend plans.

What Reddit Said

Most commenters immediately spotted the double standard. They pointed out dad had no problem sending a sick child to mom the previous weekend, but suddenly worried about infection when it affected his convenience.

A former family law attorney delivered the most upvoted reality check. They emphasized that custody means taking children during good times and bad – it’s “actual parenting,” not “Camp Daddy.”

Many users recognized this as manipulation tactics. Dad wanted to dodge weekend childcare responsibilities by weaponizing concern for his own health.

Some commenters praised mom’s documentation strategy. Her requirement that all custody discussions happen in writing protects both parents and creates clear records of unreasonable demands.

Several parents shared similar experiences with exes who only wanted children during convenient, easy moments while avoiding actual parenting challenges.

The Verdict

Overall verdict: OP is NTA (Not the Asshole). This custody weekend drama exposes a father trying to shirk basic parenting responsibilities through emotional manipulation and manufactured health concerns.

The pattern reveals deeper issues about equitable co-parenting and boundary enforcement. Dad enjoys weekend fun time but balks when real caregiving is required. This behavior undermines the entire custody arrangement and places unfair burden on mom.

Similar boundary violations appear frequently in family drama situations where one parent carries disproportionate responsibility. These AITA stories often highlight how manipulation masquerades as concern, creating unnecessary conflict in co-parenting relationships.

From r/AmItheAsshole (1,069 upvotes)