I (29F) have been dating a guy (30M) for about 6 months. We have a healthy relationship and are close – he’s kind, caring, loving, and makes me happier than I’ve ever been. After nearly 10 years of being single, I felt so lucky to finally find the right person whose values aligned with mine, and whose actions matched his words.

A few days ago, he told me there’s something I need to know about him. When he was 21 he moved to small town and was struggling with the isolation and loneliness. This led to him developing poor mental health and unhealthy habits – specifically depression, weed dependency, and a porn addiction. After a while of struggling with these things, when he was 22, he accessed CP once. Afterwards he immediately felt disgusting and ashamed. He attempted suicide and was hospitalised . He then immediately reported himself to police. The case took several years, but he was eventually convicted with accessing CSAM and is now a registered sex offender in Australia.

Since then, he has completely turned his life around. He’s honest, accountable, responsible, and has never exhibited concerning behaviour since. He’s disciplined, healthy, supportive, and an amazing partner.

That’s the bare bones of the situation, there are obviously a lot more details to it, though I can’t go into everything on here or you’d be reading for days. I am happy to provide more context if needed.

I’m just shocked and my head is SPINNING. I’m struggling to reconcile who he was with who he is now. I truly believe that his past conviction is not who he is now. But I’m also aware that I’ve only known him 6 months, and you can’t fully know a person in that short amount of time. Mostly I worry about long-term implications, I have young nieces and nephews and I work with children. All I’ve ever wanted in life is a family of my own, and I’d just started picturing what that might look like with him.

I don’t really know what I’m asking for by posting this, I guess i’m just looking to vent and hear any similar situations or hear if anyone has advice…

\- How do I process this emotionally?

\- What should I ask or check to make sure I have a full picture?

\- How do others navigate being with someone who is a registered sex offender but has clearly reformed?

\- Am i a naive idiot or terrible person for even considering staying with him?

Tldr; New partner who is otherwise perfect in our healthy relationship, has disclosed they are a registered sex offender because they accessed CP once when they were 22 and mentally ill.

UPDATE: I can’t reply to all the comments right now, I’m trying to get sleep where I can and I do have a job haha. I’ve had a skim read and wanted to address some main themes before I leave for work:

\- He did not mistakenly click on a CP link, he searched it up.

\- He self-reported after a family member took him to hospital following a severe mental health crisis. He understood hospital staff were mandatory reporters and chose to disclose himself rather than have it reported for him. So his hand was kind of forced in that way.

\- He worked with a psych for about 18 months after it happened.

\- His lawyer sought a nonconviction based on his character, his mental state, and the circumstance. The judge was compassionate but ultimately Australia has strict laws in this area (for a reason).

\- He was convicted and received no jail time, and 15 years on the registry. (consistent with a low-level offence of this type under Australian law),

\- The registry, court documents, and police docs are not public in Australia. He has shown me his registration, and is currently getting his court documents from his lawyer for me to read.

\- Lastly, thank you to everyone who has shown compassion. Like I said, my world has been shattered and I’m just trying to make some sense of everything. I have quite a practical/logical brain, so it needs to understand the objective reality of the situation before making any decisions. He has been completely honest and extremely supportive. He knows what this likely means for our relationship, and has said i can take as little or as long as I need to process it, and he will fully understand whatever the outcome is.

I’ll try to reply to comments properly this arvo.