Friend Became DD Then Started Drinking, Wants Money for C…
The Original Post
Last night I went out with a few friends (group of 5 girls all around 23 years old). Before we left, Madeline (my best friend’s friend, not super close to me) offered to be the designated driver and said she wasnāt in the mood to drink. I suggested we all just take the train into the city and split an uber back so no one felt left out if anyone wanted to drink. She was adamant that she wouldnāt feel left out and insisted on driving everyone home sfaely. I didnāt want to argue with someone volunteering as DD so I just said okay and didn’t think anything about it.
Just before midnight I noticed sheād started drinking (a couple cocktails). I didnāt say anything because I was fine splitting an uber anyway so I just enjoyed the rest of the night with the girls.
This morning she drops in the group chat that we all need to chip in for petrol + split her parking ticket/parking fees because she drove and left her car in the city. Sheās asking for around $150 ($30 each). I replied that Iām not contributing since I literally suggested the train/uber option from the start and she chose to drive/drinking anyway.
Now my best friend is messaging me privately saying Iām being unfair and that evreyone should just split it because āMadeline drove us allā and itās only $30. Sarahās acting like Iām the asshole for refusing.
Itās not even about the $30. She pushed to be DD and wouldnāt let us take the train, then drank anyway, and now expects us to cover her costs.
I know $30 isnāt huge but the principle feels off. She volunteered to drive sober, ignored my suggestion to train/uber, drank, and now wants reimbursement like she sacrificed something. If weād trained from the start none of this happens.
AITA for saying no?
What Reddit Said
Redditors overwhelmingly supported OP’s stance. Most commenters agreed that the friend created this mess herself by insisting on driving. However, they pointed out the obvious hypocrisy: she’s demanding payment while not offering to reimburse the Uber costs everyone had to pay anyway.
The top comment suggested a compromise of paying only train fare costs. Meanwhile, other users called out the friend for “taking the piss.” In fact, many noted this wasn’t really about the $30 but about the principle of accountability.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP is Not the Asshole (NTA). This designated driver started drinking costs situation perfectly illustrates why clear agreements matter. Moreover, when someone volunteers for responsibility then abandons it, they shouldn’t expect others to cover the consequences. This is a classic case of friendship drama where someone tried to have their cake and eat it too.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (1,235 upvotes, 141 comments)