SAHM Called Out Friend for Using Emergency Daycare for Break

I am in a standoff with a friend (F20) and now I am being treated like I said something unforgivable.

My friend has a child in daycare. Today the daycare sent out a letter saying they are critically understaffed and will offer emergency care.

My friend is currently not working and stays home. She still signed her child up for emergency care and told me about it, then asked if I would do the same.

I said no. We had the same exact situation before Christmas. I am also a SAHM and kept my child with me because I don’t think emergency care should be used for convenience when other parents genuinely rely on it to keep their jobs. I also think it’s unfair to already overwhelmed educators to treat emergency care like a normal service day.

She said she needs the emergency care because she is feeling under the weather (she has a cough) and because she needs the time to do household chores.

I told her that while housework is work, I don’t consider chores or mild illness an emergency, especially when the daycare explicitly asked the parents to keep the kids home if possible. I also said that using emergency care in that situation takes a spot away from families who truly have no alternative.

That’s when she accused me of not respecting domestic labor and of acting morally superior. I wasn’t telling her what she is allowed to do – she asked my opinion and I gave it. I didn’t insult her, but didn’t back down either.

Now she’s stopped responding and says I was judgmental.

I’ll admit: I do think parents who can keep their kids home during staff shortages should do so. I think there is a difference between needing childcare to survive and wanting childcare to make life easier – and pretending there isn’t feels dishonest to me.

So AITA for saying emergency daycare shouldn’t be used when you’re home and capable, even if that opinion upset my friend?