Family Found Out About Baby 3 Months Later – Christmas Drama

I’m sure you can infer based on the title of this that I’m not really close with most of my family.

I was “born out of wedlock” which was such a big deal to my father’s family that it resulted in them barely acknowledging I existed. I’m really indifferent to the lack of relationship we have with one another. I was raised by my mother for the most part, so to me, most of those people are just strangers I share some dna with.

My dad has a brother who I am close to. He was the only one in the family who had any part in my life. I never really saw my dad but my uncle always had time for me. Even after he got married and had kids of his own, I was never made to feel like I didn’t matter to him.
He came to my highschool + college graduation, helped pay for my mom’s funeral, and he walked me down the aisle. He’s more of a father to me than my bio dad ever was, so naturally he and my aunt were the only people in my father’s family I told about my pregnancy.

I asked him not to share the news with anyone because really I didn’t want them to rain on my parade. I’m still pretty young, and given how judgmental my dad’s family was about my wedding I knew they would’ve berated me for being pregnant at 23.

I thought I might tell them eventually, but honestly it was just so nice to prepare to be a mom without other people breathing down my neck that I just kept putting it off.
I ended up going into labor a little early, which was already hard, but now I’m kind of struggling with PPD so between my baby being in the NICU and dealing with everything else emotionally, I just didn’t tell them.

Baby has been home from the NICU for a little while now, and my husband’s mom made a celebratory post about her arrival, which one of my father’s relatives unfortunately saw.

To say that my phone has been blowing up would be an understatement. I’ve had people who haven’t spoken to me since I was 12 call me to criticize me for not telling my dad that he’s a grandpa.

I’m being accused of ruining my father’s, and by extension his wife and kids, Christmas by withholding this news. I’m being called heartless, selfish, inconsiderate, you name it.

My husband is under the impression that I’m unbothered by what’s going on, since any issues with my father’s family don’t typically bother me, but it’s harder to ignore it this time around.

I feel like my daughter’s first Christmas is going to be tainted by me feeling weirdly down about all this. It’s starting to make me feel like a terrible mom. I don’t know if that makes any sense though.

Sorry for the ramble. Thanks to anyone who actually read this. I just had to tell someone about the fact that this is bothering me because I really don’t want to make my husband worry.