I 62F have 2 daughters A 44F and R 38F, and granddaughter H 22F. I’ve known them all their lives. I thought we had a good relationship. Now, I don’t know. Is it me or did raise mean girls?

I have worked really hard the past 2 years and have lost over 110 lbs. I watched what I ate, high protein low carbs, no sugars, low calorie, a few treats here and there, and LOTS of walking, work outs and I started playing pickleball last summer. I have been heavy all my life, and 2 years ago weighed 305! Now I am the smallest I’ve been since my 20’s.

MY oldest daughter and granddaughter hadn’t seen me in person, since summer and at Christmas they were shocked by my appearance. (I lost 40 lbs since July when I added pickleball to my exercise routine). I overheard the girls talking and it was very hurtful what they said. I wasn’t deliberately listening. I was in the bathroom and they were in the hallway.

The comments they made, made me tear up. Saying I look like a deflating balloon, that soon I won’t want to be seen with them (is that how they felt about me when I was so much bigger?).

I have never given unsolicited diet advice, don’t make comments about their weight, they are my girls, I wouldn’t say hurtful things to them. I did say I had a bag of clothes (work stuff, business casual I wore on my way down) if they wanted to look before it was donated. I am just a couple sizes smaller than 2 of them and about the size of the 3rd. I have 40 lbs to goal. I didn’t push it, just said the stuff is in their father’s (my late husband’s) closet.

Granddaughter said she didn’t want to wear “grandma” clothes. Fair enough, I wouldn’t want to wear, the leggings and crop tops of 20 somethings. But the way they all looked at each other and snickered, is what got me. MY granddaughter 22F said I looked more wrinkly now I’ve lost weight, and during dinner when I only took smaller portions, no sweets, my oldest who I hadn’t seen in a few months said in kind of a snarky way “Isn’t our food good enough for you anymore? Too much fat?” I responded I have to be careful to keep losing and keep the weight off.

The comments kept coming, from all three of them, like “who wants pie, I’m sure YOU won’t want any, you aren’t greedy like us”. I did have a sliver of the pumpkin pie my granddaughter made. (My favorite)And then after dishes my daughter laughed and said Are you gonna go walk off the 200 calories you ate at dinner or hang around us a while?” Granddaughter laughed and said “I doubt it was 200, more like 60.” FYI, I had a small slice of ham(daughter 38F made), and a bit of prime rib, daughter 44F made), a serving of sautéed green beans(I made) not the green bean casserole (DIL 40F made and seemed irritated I didn’t eat it)a half of a baked potato, and a small Hawaiian roll. I didn’t turn anything down, just didn’t choose it from the buffet. I didn’t think I would be judged.

When everyone left I had a good cry. I felt like I’d been bullied by a group of mean girls. I had read that people who lose weight aren’t treated the same by friends and co-workers, and I know I am treated different at this weight than at 300 by service people and the doctor’s office, but I didn’t expect it from my girls. My own family. How can I fix this? Do I address it as a group, individually, or ignore and hope it stops.