The Original Post
I’m 6 months pregnant and we just had a huge fight about the delivery. My fiancé thinks his mom should be in the room when I give birth because it’s her first grandchild and she’s been so supportive. I said absolutely not I want just him there maybe my own mom if I decide later.
Now his whole family is saying I’m being selfish and excluding them from this special moment. His mom even cried saying I’m keeping her from bonding with the baby. My fiancé says I’m overreacting and that she just wants to help and support us.
But here’s the thing I’m the one who’s going to be half naked, in pain possibly pooping on the table and extremely vulnerable. This isn’t a spectator sport. I don’t want anyone I’m not 100% comfortable with seeing me like that. His mom is nice but we’re not that close and she’s already been kind of overbearing about the pregnancy sending me articles about what I should eat asking invasive questions planning the nursery without asking me.
My fiancé says if I really loved him I’d compromise on this. But I feel like my comfort during literal child birth shouldn’t be up for negotiation. Am I being unreasonable? Everyone’s making me feel like the bad guy here but it’s my medical procedure.
How do I make him understand this isn’t about excluding his mom, it’s about me feeling safe and comfortable during one of the most intense experiences of my life?
What Reddit Said
Reddit exploded with support for the pregnant woman. Most commenters were outraged that her fiancé would manipulate her feelings during such a vulnerable time. However, they were equally angry about the emotional manipulation tactics being used.
The top comment perfectly captured Reddit’s sentiment by suggesting the fiancé strip naked and defecate in front of her mother. Moreover, many users pointed out the red flags in his “if you really loved me” manipulation. In fact, several commenters suggested she ban him from the delivery room entirely if he continued this behavior.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP is absolutely Not the Asshole (NTA). Reddit firmly believes that when a fiance wants mom in delivery room against the mother’s wishes, it’s completely unacceptable. This is a classic case of boundary violations where the pregnant woman’s comfort and medical privacy should be the only priority. The manipulation tactics and family pressure only made Reddit more supportive of her position in this relationship drama.
Original post from r/relationship_advice (1,787 upvotes, 900 comments)