The Original Post
So I’ve taken over the family business along with my sister. Recently a friend of mine, who I always considered a very good friend, started just distancing himself. Yesterday I found out what it was.
A few months ago we opened a position in our company and one of the resumes was [friend’s] gf (she did not know when she applied that it was my company). In order to keep it professional, I wasn’t involved in the process. My sister did the interview. It was actually kind of awkward because as she was leaving the building, I was walking in but I pretended I didn’t see her because she faltered in her step, clearly recognizing me and said hello and I just said hello back and kept going like I didn’t recognize her which could’ve been genuine since I have not been in a lot of gatherings with her honestly.
Anyway we ended up going with another person for the job. Apparently friend’s gf sent an email asking for any updates a few weeks after the interview but we never responded to her. My sister deals with the e-mails usually. My friend is mad at me and said he is greatly disappointed in my handling of the situation. That he was fine with her not being picked but that me not even bothering to send an e-mail and tell her she didn’t get the job is unaceptable in his opinion, considering we are such good friends. I told him I was just keeping it professional and unbiased. He said it’s totally fine that she wasn’t picked, it was about the fact I didn’t bother to send the feedback and that I pretended to not know her when she was just saying “hi”. He is one of those people that when he is done with you, he is done, he doesn’t want to fight but he clearly doesn’t want to associate much with me anymore. I think he’s just salty on behalf of his gf but I need opinions on this.
What Reddit Said
Reddit overwhelmingly declared OP the asshole in this situation. Most users agreed that removing himself from the hiring process was smart. However, they slammed his decision to pretend not to recognize the girlfriend and ghost her completely.
The top comments focused heavily on basic professional courtesy. Redditors pointed out that getting an interview and then being ignored is incredibly disrespectful. Moreover, many criticized the company’s apparent policy of not following up with candidates at all.
Several users noted that OP could have easily maintained professionalism while still being decent. In fact, most suggested he should have told his friend upfront that his girlfriend had applied and that someone else would handle the process.
The Verdict
The clear consensus: OP is the Asshole (YTA). This friend angry job rejection handling situation reveals poor business practices and social awareness. While staying out of the hiring decision was correct, basic human decency still applied. This falls into classic workplace drama territory where professional boundaries were confused with being unnecessarily cold.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (1,476 upvotes, 527 comments)