Friend Wanted to Change Group Trip Plans After Booking
The Original Post
I’m 28F recently went on a weekend trip with three friends(2 males an a female). We’ve all known each other since college and try to do something together once a year. This year I offered to handle booking the Airbnb because I’m the most organized and I work from home, so I had time to compare prices.
Before booking anything, I sent everyone three options in our group chat with prices broken down per person. One place was cheaper but smaller, one was mid range and close to downtown, and one was more expensive but had extra amenities. After a day of back and forth, everyone agreed in writing to go with the mid range place. I confirmed again: “Is everyone okay with that and got thumbs up from all three.
I booked it on my credit card since it required full payment upfront. Everyone sent me their share within a few days.
Two weeks before the trip, one friend found a different Airbnb she liked more. It had a hot tub and a better view, but it was more cost per person. She said since it was a special occasion, no birthday or anything, just our annual trip, we should upgrade. Another friend said he wouldn’t mind paying extra. The third friend didn’t really weigh in.
I checked the cancellation policy and realized we would lose about half of what we already paid if we switched. I told them I wasn’t comfortable canceling and rebooking because it would mean either eating the cancellation fee or asking everyone to chip in even more. I also pointed out that we have already agreed and paid.
but she said I was being rigid and that trips are about experiences, not spreadsheets. She offered to cover part of the cancellation fee but not all of it. I said I appreciated the offer, but I still didn’t think it was fair to change plans this late when we’ve all agreed.
It got awkward after that. No one yelled, but the vibe in the group chat definitely shifted. One friend privately told me he sees both sides but understands why I don’t want to complicate things financially.
We ended up keeping the original booking. The trip itself was actually great. But she made a couple of comments since then about me being the trip accountant and not spontaneous.
I’m starting to wonder if I should have just gone along with the change to keep things easy and fun. I didn’t want to be controlling. I just didn’t want to create extra costs and stress after we’ve already agreed.
AITA for sticking with the original plan instead of switching to the more expensive place?
What Reddit Said
Redditors overwhelmingly supported OP’s decision to stick with the original plan. Most users questioned why the friend was even looking at other properties after they’d already booked and paid. The top comment perfectly captured Reddit’s sentiment: why browse other options when the decision was already made?
However, many users were particularly annoyed by the friend’s behavior after the trip. The passive-aggressive comments about being a “trip accountant” struck a nerve with commenters. Moreover, Reddit appreciated that OP had been thorough in the original planning process, getting written confirmation from everyone before booking.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP is Not the Asshole (NTA). When a friend changed group trip plans after everyone had agreed and paid, OP was right to refuse the expensive switch. This is a classic case of friendship drama where one person’s spontaneity created unnecessary conflict. Reddit’s advice was simple: let the demanding friend handle the booking next time if she thinks she can do better.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (1,672 upvotes, 194 comments)