When I was pregnant with my first child two years ago, I had a really heavy feeling that I had to keep my pregnancy journey quite discreet because two of my friends (they are married) had difficulties with infertility.

When my fiance and I were exprecting it was obvious that they were hurt and that after each encounter with us they would cry themselves to sleep.

So whenever we were together I wouldn’t bring up the pregnancy or even all of the great new thrills I was living. I don’t have much friends so it hurt me inside a lot nat to be able to appreciate the moment as much but I didn’t wanted to hurt them just because baby was existing inside me.

But they talked to other friends of ours and said awful things such as :
-“The child was an accident” (It wasn’t, I prepared my body for everything and it “just” happened on the first try.)
-“They don’t deserve a child as much as us” (I literally waited my entire life just to begin my own family since mine was broken since even before my birth.) “

I remember to cry myself to sleep several times thinking about them also because I always daydreamed about our children growing up together (whether they adopt or use other medical options) but they were just mean.
I always tried to calm my fiance down by telling him that they are hurt and that they don’t actually mean it — but it still hurt and once confronted they still didn’t actually apologized.
Thing that I don’t forget.

When we introduced baby to our friend group for the first time. (It wasn’t at home) They never acknowledged it. Not even a “Hello Baby”. They just straight up acted as if it never existed. That night I cried again. The next time they brought a gift but they never actually said Sorry.

Anyway, now the couple are expecting (maybe twins — they had an insemination). They told us first. I hugged them gave them a small gift I’ve prepared for this day (baby clothes and stuff ) because I consider myself their friend and congratulated them.

Now I have this sinking feeling inside because all the things I didn’t get to do wholeheartedly because it was hurting them they’ll celebrate it publicly and loudly (They love to show themselves.) I know that it’s my fault for not celebrating as much as I should’ve but they were really hurt and it hurt me just as much.

So now I’m just thinking about not going to their baby shower when it’s going to come up. Not out of a petty move but because I’ll be extremely hurt.
I’ve learned to stand a bit more my ground so I know that I’ll tell them my reasons one way or another but I feel bad because I’m supposed to support them as a friend.

So WIBTAH if I don’t attend their baby shower because they said my pregnancy was an accident and that I didn’t deserve it?

Update:

Not actually an update but I wanted to thank everyone commenting. I really didn’t expect this much attention.

I actually cried reading all your comments and I told my fiance also that I won’t go to their baby shower and he is 1000% on my side.
I know that we’ll be able to tell them our reasons of why and that it’s totally justified but I also know that it’s not going to be easy because, as one of you said, They will try and say that we can’t be happy for them to our other friends.

I won’t ghost them but I definitely won’t be as present for them.

My fiance and I already know that they’ll compare their children with ours with even everyday accomplishments. They actually already do it with us (buying a house, new car, renovations, etc.)
As another one of you said, it’s exhausting.

My fiance made the effort to keep a relationship with them for me (he is deeply hurt by the situation but unlike me, he isn’t a people pleaser I guess..) I truly am grateful to have him. Our first year with baby sure wasn’t easy but he was way more supportive than I could have hoped for.

I know that you are all right about leaving them behind and understand that they’re not my friends but it truly is hard to tell myself that after having a hard time making some.

But I really do know that my family (and my own self) comes first.
I’m just heartbroken.

But thank you again for your comments and I really wish for you all a beautiful life !