The Original Post
I’m very aware this sounds ridiculous but I’m so tired of worrying about this, I need some outside perspective. This all happened almost 2 weeks ago now.
I was almost 38 weeks pregnant then. My partner left for an afternoon to help out her brother (which we were both fine with, she was only a 1,5 hour drive away & neither of us saw this coming) & my friend ‘Alice’ offered to come spend the day with me so I wasn’t alone.
Honestly it was really nice to have her there. We just watched some movies & hung out and even though I was so uncomfortable through the day, I didn’t consider I might actually be going into labor. (I had been feeling discomfort for ages.)
At some point we did realise this was the real deal & I called my wife. We considered waiting until she got back but things started to get real very fast & I asked Alice to drive me to the hospital. (She was fine with this, I think.)
We didn’t fully make it to the hospital & I ended up having my daughter in her (husband’s) car. We’re both fine, luckily. I had a few complications which are now okay again. Our baby is beyond perfect & though my wife is having hard time with having missed her birth, we have a wonderful tiny human to focus on.
Things have been really messed up with Alice & her husband though and I don’t know how to solve it. Two days after all that happened I sent her a message thanking her again for everything she had done & told her (lighthearted but sincere) to please send me a bill for having the car cleaned. She didn’t reply for a while & in the end just ‘liked’ the message.
I’ve messaged her a few times since & she hasn’t replied & her husband sent me a message saying not to message her and congrats on the baby but thanks for fucking up his car.
I feel so lost & please don’t get me wrong, of course my priority is with myl ittle family right now, but this does keep crossing my mind. This is so unlike her. Her husband & I never were the closest (I don’t love how he speaks to her sometimes) but still were friendly.
I don’t know how to solve this. Did I just traumatise her so much & need to leave her alone? Do I keep trying? I’m so grateful for all she’s done that day.
Edit: thank you all for the replies, this is quite overwhelming so I hope it’s okay I do this here. I’m going to try & reach out to her again but not through text, or maybe I can ask one of our mutual friends to meet up with her. I don’t know yet, but going to try and check in on her in some way.
Also we planned to pay them back since this happened, no worries. Very aware that I messed up their car in a big way.
Thanks for all the replies, truly. I got a lot of great advice/insights & I’m gonna figure out my next steps.
What Reddit Said
Reddit overwhelmingly supported the new mom in this situation. Most users pointed out that childbirth is unpredictable and she couldn’t have planned this outcome. However, many emphasized the serious nature of the cleanup required.
Auto detailing professionals in the comments explained that biohazard cleaning costs thousands of dollars. The car may need forensic-level decontamination, carpet replacement, and ozone treatment. Meanwhile, users found the friend’s complete silence concerning and suspicious.
The consensus was clear: while the situation is unfortunate, true friends would prioritize the mother and baby’s safety over material possessions. Moreover, Reddit advised reaching out through mutual friends since direct contact wasn’t working.
The Verdict
Reddit’s verdict: OP did nothing wrong when she gave birth in her friend’s car during an emergency. This appears to be a case of friendship drama where the friend is prioritizing property damage over human relationships. However, OP should prepare for a substantial cleaning bill and consider whether this friendship is worth salvaging given their reaction to a medical emergency.
Original post from r/relationship_advice (2,644 upvotes, 1,133 comments)