The Original Post
her: “I love the aquarium, would love to do that!, tho I guarantee I’ll crave sushi after that so we’d def have to pair it with that lol. Something ab looking at fishies in aquariums makes me crave eating fish lol”
me: “Yes!! Lots of seafood will be eaten! I can stock up on Wednesday :)”
I reconnected with an old crush from college several months ago and we have been in an official LDR for the past 6 weeks. I live in TN and she in the NYC area. We met in the middle first then I visited her twice. We are both doctoral level healthcare professionals. I’ve happily paid for 100% of our activities (hotels, meals, dates, club fees, etc).
She said she was going to visit me and planned a trip (bought a ticket) then canceled her trip based on this text. She says she felt like I was being too cheap by not asking her to a sushi immediately restaurant after the text. I wrote the text from work (I’m an ER doctor so kinda busy sometimes) and my position is that “Yes!” means absolutely I will take you to sushi, “lots of seafood will be eaten” refers to all the other restaurants I planned which seafood as she is pescatarian. “I will go Wednesday and stock up.” refers to her complaining that stores around her are often out of tuna/fish so I wanted to go to the Costco and have lots of stuff to eat while she was here.
Beforehand I sent her an itinerary of a bunch of other restaurants and stuff we were going to do for context.
We made up but she maintains that the text made her feel like a “fuck buddy” since I didn’t immediately say, “yes, lets go eat sushi after the aquarium.”
This is absolutely not any of my intention from the text, I could have worded it better but was busy at work. I’ve paid for everything we’ve done without a thought and would literally take her wherever she wants to go so it just seems totally ridiculous to me.
My true feeling is that she canceled the trip because she just didn’t want to put in the effort and generally looks down on my home city, and used that as an excuse, which is causing a major trust issue.
tldr: gf canceled trip based on above text. how would you feel?
What Reddit Said
Redditors were absolutely brutal in their assessment of the girlfriend’s behavior. The top comment called her “immature” and advised OP not to entertain her drama further. Most users saw her reaction as completely unreasonable given the context.
Moreover, many pointed out red flags beyond just the text misinterpretation. Several commenters noted that she likely used this as an excuse to avoid visiting his city. In fact, they praised OP for dodging what would clearly be a high-maintenance relationship full of similar overreactions.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: this girlfriend canceled trip over text situation revealed major incompatibility issues. Reddit firmly believed OP dodged a bullet with someone who creates drama from innocent communications. This is classic relationship red flag territory where minor misunderstandings become relationship-ending events.
Original post from r/relationship_advice (1,478 upvotes, 612 comments)