The Original Post
We moved in together last month. She likes to cook and is good at it, so our original agreement was she would cook and I would do the dishes. That’s fair.
Except that every single time I did the dishes she would pretty much “check” on my work, like following behind me after I started the load. And sometimes she would unload it and re load it the way she thought it was appropriate. And whenever I was hand washing she always insisted in being there and inspecting everything that wasn’t up to her standard.
So I finally had enough and told her that I won’t be doing dishes anymore if that’s how things will go. Or I can cook for myself and do my own dishes that she won’t get to touch (she can have her separate dishes). She said she was just trying to be helpful and that I was rude and sort of an AH for what I said and the way I said it.
What Reddit Said
Reddit’s response was notably cautious about taking sides immediately. Most commenters demanded more information before passing judgment. However, they focused on one crucial question: is the girlfriend’s behavior justified by poor cleaning standards?
The top comments reveal Reddit’s practical approach to the situation. Users wanted to know if OP was genuinely incompetent at cleaning or if his girlfriend was being controlling. Moreover, many pointed out that food safety and hygiene aren’t areas where compromise works well.
The Verdict
Reddit withheld judgment pending more details about the actual quality of OP’s dish cleaning work. The community recognized this as a common relationship conflict where both partners could potentially be right. In fact, whether the girlfriend double checking dishes work is reasonable depends entirely on whether those dishes are actually clean – something the original post didn’t clarify.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (2,835 upvotes, 1,167 comments)