The Original Post
My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) are both in college we have been dating for 2 years, I work Spark and DoorDash on the side, and I’m completely on my own paying for college, food, gas everything. Money is tight, but I still try really hard to show up for her.
I saved to buy her a $170 perfume she’s been talking about forever. It’s something she’s wanted for ages. I also got her two phone cases she really liked because her old one was dinged up and discolored.
She has really bad anxiety, and she’s mentioned those TikTok Shop herbal vapor diffuser things every time it comes on her fyp, so I grabbed one of those too as a little extra.
At first, she liked the perfume and phone cases. But when she opened the last gift (the diffuser), her mood completely changed. She got sad/upset and said it made her feel like I only bought the perfume to “fill the budget” we talked about. She said she feels unheard and that I took the easier route instead of getting her “other things.”
That really hurt, because I’ve been saving specifically for that perfume for a long time, not as filler. I genuinely thought I was being thoughtful, especially considering my financial situation. She keeps mentioning how she’s Jealous because the gifts she got me are “cooler” and “more thoughtful”
We have been going through it recently and she says I am depressing her and ruining yet another holiday, she barely ever likes my gifts I genuinely put thought into.
Now I’m stuck feeling confused and honestly kind of crushed. I don’t know if I messed up, if I misunderstood what she wanted, or if this is something deeper than the gifts themselves.
I’m not trying to be defensive I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do differently here.
Advice?
Update: I’ve talked to her more about it and she’s standing on that she is hurt that she thinks I just got one big thing (the perfume) as a way to cop out on buying multiple small things she wanted. I hoped one bigger item would actually maker her happier but.
I just made this post to make sure I’m right and we did get each other equally good and thoughtful gifts. She just has told me multiple times I’m a bad boyfriend and that I try to be nonchalant on purpose because I’m not externally emotional like her. It’s just how I act emotionally and how I always have and don’t see why it’s an issue, everyone is emotionally different.
What Reddit Said
Redditors immediately rallied behind the struggling college student. Most were shocked by his girlfriend’s ungrateful reaction to such generous gifts. Users pointed out that spending $170+ while working gig jobs and paying for everything himself showed incredible thoughtfulness.
However, many commenters saw deeper red flags in the relationship. They noted her pattern of never liking his gifts and calling him a “bad boyfriend.” Moreover, her claim that she gives “cooler” gifts while he works multiple jobs struck users as particularly tone-deaf.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: this girlfriend is ungrateful and manipulative. Reddit users, including a 55-year-old mom and her 20-year-old daughter, agreed he should “dump her ass.” This is a classic case of relationship drama where financial sacrifice goes unappreciated, revealing someone’s true character during holiday conflicts.
Original post from r/relationship_advice (1,764 upvotes, 670 comments)