The Original Post
I have 3 sons, Michael (35), Jonah (30), and Logan (20). After Logan moved out for college last year I moved 6 hours away, near Michael and his family, both for the lower cost of living and to be near my grandkids.
Michael and his wife, Nadia, have 4 kids (8, 6, 3, and 3). I watch the kids from 11:30 to 3:30 4 days a week while Nadia works and the kids spend the night 1-2 times a month so Michael and Nadia can have a date night.
Nadia confirmed that I could take the kids overnight for New Year’s Eve last month. I made plans for one of my good friends to bring her grandkids over. We had a pizza and movie night with bottomless ice cream and lots of candy.
Logan told me at the beginning of this month that he’ll stay with me for winter break instead of his father. A few days ago he told me he wanted to have some friends over for New Year’s Eve. I told him that was fine but I had the kids so they could use the finished basement as long as there wasn’t drinking or loud music.
He asked why I’d babysit when I knew he was visiting. I told him that Nadia confirmed this with me long before he told me he would be here. He says I should’ve canceled when he told me that he was going to be here because Michael’s family gets me every day but he only sees me a few weeks a year and even then he’s not able to make plans because I have the kids.
I understand why he’s upset but I’m not sure if I’m wrong for babysitting.
What Reddit Said
Most Redditors firmly sided with the grandmother. They emphasized that she made a commitment first and shouldn’t break it just because her son changed his plans. However, many also acknowledged the youngest son’s frustration about feeling deprioritized.
Several commenters pointed out that Logan is 20 years old and should understand basic concepts like keeping commitments. Moreover, they noted that he gave very short notice compared to the pre-existing babysitting arrangement. In fact, many suggested he was being entitled to expect his mother to cancel on her other son’s family.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP is Not the Asshole (NTA). This grandma babysitting during son visit situation highlights the importance of honoring prior commitments. Reddit agreed that first-come, first-served applies even in family conflicts. Therefore, Logan needs to learn that his lack of planning doesn’t constitute an emergency for his mother.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (1,337 upvotes, 294 comments)