The Original Post
First I want to make it clear my husband did not do anything wrong, it was an accident and he feels horrible. About 3 days ago, my husband and I were home all day together. We are pretty active in the bedroom, and it’s not unusual for us to do stuff at least once a day or every other day. We woke up that day and he was pretty much immediately in the mood and tried to initiate, but I told him I wasn’t really in the mood to be touched intimately so we cuddled and kissed instead before getting out of bed. Later in the afternoon, we started to get touchy again and he asked again and this time I agreed and we went into the bedroom. He warned me before I agreed that he wasn’t going to be gentle, that he really wanted me and wasn’t going to hold back and I was okay with that.
I went to the bathroom after we finished and there was blood when I wiped. Only a little so I tried to ignore it and act normal. But then it wasn’t a little, and I went back to the bathroom because it felt like I had started my period but it wasn’t time. I think he accidentally scratched me pretty bad or something, I’m okay and it’s not that big of a deal but it’s honestly fucking me up mentally. I was sexually abused by my step-dad as a kid, and the last time I’ve bled there for non-menstrual reasons was that. I have ptsd and keep falling into pits too deep to climb out of between that and ASD, Bipolar 2, ect. My ASD also makes the slight pain hard to handle sensory wise, it’s very overwhelming to my head. I didn’t tell my husband about the bleeding the first day, but when it was still happening on the second I finally broke and told him. I just didn’t want him to feel bad, my last partner (3 years and the longest relationship I’ve been in, also the most abusive) would’ve done something bad to themselves in response to something like this and I’m still working on reprogramming myself. He doesn’t really realize how much it’s messing with me though, he knows about it overwhelming me but I’ve not told him how much I’m thinking of my dad right now. My trauma is my dad is one thing I’ve just always had to deal with alone, and I don’t want him to feel worse about what happened by knowing the mental effect it’s having on me. I just needed to get it out there I guess.
What Reddit Said
Reddit overwhelmingly urged OP to be honest with her husband about the trauma she’s experiencing. The top comment emphasized that true partnership requires transparency, even when it’s difficult. However, many users also acknowledged how challenging it must be given her history of abuse and previous toxic relationship.
Several commenters shared similar experiences and practical advice. They reassured OP that accidental bleeding during intimacy is more common than people think. Moreover, they suggested preventive measures like keeping nails trimmed and using protection during manual contact.
The Verdict
The consensus was clear: OP needs to communicate openly with her husband about how the accidental bleeding is affecting her mentally. While Reddit understood her desire to protect his feelings, they emphasized that hiding such significant emotional distress isn’t fair to either partner. This situation highlights how past trauma can unexpectedly resurface in healthy relationships, making professional support and honest communication essential for healing.
Original post from r/TrueOffMyChest (2,102 upvotes, 127 comments)