Husband Blames Wife for Failing Kids While He Abuses Them
The Original Post
We have 4 kids and if I didn’t tell him (43M) my body is really tired of pregnancies he would have wanted more. Our 15 years old son is making a fool of himself on lives where he cries, laughs and does weird things with his friends and our daughter who is 17 also has a dr\*g use problem and besides that she gave a BJ to a guy in exchange for money becasuse my husband stopped giving her any.
He climbed the corporate ladder to the top, he is the VP right now and his life are business trips, meetings, conferences. In the little free time he has he goes to the gym or swimming to stay fit.
We also have a 13 years old daughter who is failing at everything in school and a 7 years old who needs all my attention.
Last week there was a corporate party and my husband with his main character energy wanted to make it a perfect night and all about him. But our 17 years old daughter made an appearance and put up a show. Yelled, swore at the people. My husband grabbed her by the arm and dragged her outside where he slapped her 4 times. He is not popular with the employees as he is very strict and military like, demeaning, demanding. I am sure they mocked him. This is not a big city and I know that our daughter stole money from someone who’s parents work under my husband.
Yesterday my husband lost his cool and said I am a failure, that he put all his trust in me and I ruined his kids. And ended up beeatting with a belt our daughter and the next day he hit our son – after our son scratched his car.
He left for a new business trip today and took his young secretary with him. I asked him why he takes that woman with him and he said she knows how to keep him calm while I turned him home into madhouse. Is he cheating or what was that comment? I do my best to keep him happy in that aspect too and do whatever he wants
I have tried 5 psychologist with my teenagers already.
What Reddit Said
Reddit immediately identified the husband as the root problem. Users pointed out his complete absence from parenting duties combined with physical abuse when present. The consensus was crystal clear: this man created the toxic environment he now complains about.
However, commenters also held the mother accountable for enabling the abuse. Many urged her to file domestic violence charges and leave immediately. In fact, the top comment bluntly stated she’d be a “horrible mom” if she kept the kids in this environment.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: the husband blames wife failing kids scenario is textbook abuser behavior. He’s absent, abusive, and deflecting responsibility onto his victim. This represents classic domestic violence patterns where the abuser creates chaos then blames others. Moreover, Reddit emphasized that both parents are failing these children – him through abuse and neglect, her through enabling the cycle to continue.
Original post from r/TrueOffMyChest (1,338 upvotes, 321 comments)