The Original Post
I (43m) have been married to my wife (46f) for 17 years. We have 2 kids and I now realize that I have never truly been happy in our marriage. The beginning was exciting and full of romance and fun as I imagine most marriages start. But I was always made to feel inferior and just brushed it under the rug, keeping the peace for the sake of the marriage and now kids. Everything I did never seemed good enough, even though I make 6 figures and am able to support the family without her working. 5 years ago I reached my breaking point and was so angry of how I was made to feel .my wife and I stopped speaking for 6 months. She never once asked why I was angry. We fought but I was never understood. It’s been over 5 years now and we don’t speak except about the kids or housing stuff. I go to work and am always there for the kids but am truly empty inside emotionally. Coming home is a dread but seeing my kids is the reason I stay in the relationship. I go out and see couples just having conversations and am so incredibly jealous and just long for a human connection. Just to be heard and respected. I am stuck due to the kids and wife’s health situation so just browse threads like this and it gives me some solace to know that I’m not the only one
What Reddit Said
Redditors were deeply concerned about this toxic living situation. Most commenters focused on how damaging this silent treatment is for the children involved. They pointed out that kids absorb everything and will model their future relationships on what they see at home.
However, many were equally puzzled by the wife’s apparent comfort with this arrangement. Users questioned how someone could go five years without addressing such a massive relationship breakdown. The consensus was clear: this isn’t sustainable for anyone involved.
The Verdict
Reddit’s overwhelming message: when a husband and wife are not talking for years, it’s time for drastic action. Commenters urged either intensive couples therapy or divorce, emphasizing that staying “for the kids” in such a toxic environment actually harms them more. This situation represents a classic case of marriage problems that have festered beyond repair, creating an emotionally damaging home for everyone involved.
Original post from r/TrueOffMyChest (3,736 upvotes, 325 comments)