The Original Post
\*Throwaway\*
As the title mentions, this is over something people might consider to be trivial. Here goes.
I have a toddler. Said toddler was inseparable from their dummy (pacifier) to the point we had to make them go cold-turkey.
I had many sleepless nights because the dummy was a vital part of their night-time routine, but any access to one would cause a world of chaos for us.
Long story short, it took us 1 month to fully wean and 3 months to get to the point where any stray dummies were voluntarily surrendered.
We have a baby now. Our toddler was great at handing the dummies to the baby without daring to put it in their own mouth. That was until my MIL babysat and we returned to find our toddler asleep with a dummy in their mouth.
My husband was furious and tried to explain what can of worms she had opened up for us. My MIL tried to explain that our toddler started to cry inconsolably (for reasons unclear) and because she doesn’t like crying, she gave them the dummy to get them to stop.
It has been a month since this incident. I am constantly having to hide dummies from my toddler because they will try to put them in their own mouth, steal them from the baby whilst they sleep, and scream relentlessly if they cannot have one.
My partner has been lamenting over my MIL’s actions and curses her under his breath every time we have to deal with a dummy related tantrum.
My MIL now wants to be able to babysit for us next week. My partner and I have said “No. Not after the dummy incident”. She is not taking this well and has told my FIL, GMIL and friends that we are punishing her for trying to get my toddler to stop crying.
We’re still not budging.
I don’t believe my partner and I are in the wrong for this. Perhaps others see it differently. AITA in this situation?
What Reddit Said
Reddit overwhelmingly supported the parents’ decision to ban MIL from babysitting. Most commenters were shocked that she couldn’t handle a crying child. The top comment sarcastically suggested sending MIL a dummy to stop her own crying about the consequences.
However, many Redditors pointed out an even bigger red flag. A babysitter who can’t cope with crying children shouldn’t be trusted with kids at all. Moreover, her refusal to acknowledge the damage she caused made things worse.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP is Not the Asshole (NTA). This mother in law dummy babysitting disaster shows exactly why grandparents need to respect parenting decisions. MIL prioritized her own comfort over months of hard work, then played victim when facing consequences. This is a classic case of family drama where boundaries must be enforced to protect parenting choices.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (2,554 upvotes, 308 comments)