The Original Post
I’m 19F, currently in college and still living at home. I’ve been working part-time since I was 16 and I’m really strict about saving. I don’t go out much, don’t buy expensive stuff, and I’ve managed to save a decent amount (around $4k).
Last week my mom asked me to log into my banking app to transfer money for groceries because her card “wasn’t working.” While I was doing that, she saw my total savings.
She went quiet and later that night told me that since I’m living under her roof, I should contribute more and that it’s “selfish” of me to hoard money while she’s struggling. She asked me to give her $2k to “help the family” and said I could always earn it back.
The thing is, she’s not unemployed or anything. She works full-time. We’re not rich, but we’re not in crisis either. I already pay for my own school stuff, my phone bill, and sometimes groceries. I was saving that money in case I move out or for emergencies.
When I said I wasn’t comfortable giving that much, she called me ungrateful and said I’m acting like a “tenant” instead of a daughter.
Now my relatives are saying I should help because “family helps family,” but I feel like she only wants it because she saw how much I had.
AITA for refusing to give her half my savings?
What Reddit Said
Reddit users overwhelmingly rallied behind the daughter. The top comment, with over 5,000 upvotes, warned her not to give “a dime” to her mother. Moreover, experienced Redditors pointed out this classic manipulation tactic: once you give money to family, they’ll keep coming back for more.
Many users emphasized that $4,000 isn’t actually much money at all. In fact, they praised the teenager for her financial discipline and urged her to keep saving for her future independence. However, several commenters noted red flags about the mother’s behavior and suggested the daughter should prioritize moving out.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: Not the Asshole (NTA). This situation perfectly illustrates why a mom demands daughter savings money only after discovering the amount exists. Reddit recognized this as financial manipulation disguised as family obligation. The community strongly advised protecting those hard-earned savings for college expenses and future independence rather than enabling entitled family drama.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (2,938 upvotes, 676 comments)