The Original Post
My daughter (28) wedding is tomorrow. The problem is that my wife’s dad is in the hospital. He has always been frail since he was moved into a home and it took a turn for the worse and now he is in the hospital. They don’t think he will make. My wife sister say it looks bad and she also isn’t coming up for the wedding anymore.
The original plan was for him to fly up for the wedding today ( with the help of my wife’s sister), but he was hospitalized yesterdays and he is just getting worse. My wife has been distraught and she made the decision to go fly down ( she is leaving tonight)
It was tough decision because she will miss the wedding. I told her I will FaceTime her in for the ceremony and anything else but to go be with her dad before he dies. I also now she would be miserable if she was at the wedding to begin with. ( I doubt she would be able to put on a happy face and pretend everything was okay).
We called our daughter to explain and she did not take it well. She called her mom a lot of names. My wife has been crying since. She started to span both our phones. I got into another argument with her and I told her she is being self centered and cruel about mom not being able to make it. That her father is dying and all you care about is your big day. I didn’t raise her to not have any empathy.
She told me that wasn’t fair and I told her it was. I told her to apologize to her mother.
She told me I shouldn’t come to the wedding if mom isn’t there.
My wife is very distraught and I am suppose to drive her to the airport in a few hours.
Are we in the wrong… my daughter 100% thinks we are in the wrong. My wife is distraught.
edit: I don’t get why some of you are acting like she is flying out get lunch. he is dying, she wants to see him one last time before he is dead
multiple asked- we have four kids in total, yes she is her grandfather on my wife’s side. my wife’s mom already died 7 years ago
What Reddit Said
Most Redditors sided with the parents in this heartbreaking situation. However, many acknowledged the daughter’s pain while still condemning her reaction. The top comments emphasized that life’s timing is often cruel and unfair to everyone involved.
Meanwhile, several users offered practical solutions. They suggested the father should still attend the wedding despite his daughter’s ultimatum. Moreover, many pointed out that while the daughter’s feelings are valid, her behavior toward her grieving mother was unacceptable.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: Dad is Not the Asshole (NTA). This is a classic case of family drama where timing creates an impossible situation. In fact, Reddit recognized that while everyone’s pain is valid, the daughter’s cruel treatment of her mom missing daughter wedding for a dying grandfather crossed the line into wedding drama territory.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (2,868 upvotes, 1,930 comments)