The Original Post
I, 19M have been paying off a car loan from my mom, 40F, since I turned 16. She “gifted” me a new 2022, current year, Nissan Sentra for my birthday. I foolishly never asked how much she signed for because I had assumed that her financially knowledgeable boyfriend at the time would know what he was doing at the dealership. He did not. The original MSRP for my car capped at around $20,000, out the door they walked away with a $40,000 car loan. They put nothing down and had a 10% interest rate Becuase my mom’s credit was bad and she had no job. But even accounting that the math never made sense to me. The payments every month was $510. I didn’t care because the original deal was that me and my mom’s boyfriend would split the monthly note. That lasted for all of 3 months until I was stuck paying the entire thing and have been since that day. About a year ago I went to the bank with my mom to try to transfer the loan from her name to mine but since the interest would be recalculated and would add about $10,000 to the loan we both agreed to not do it. I moved out at 18 and live with a roommate but bills have been tighter. My girlfriend’s mom suggested that I look for a new car that’s more in budget and I found a used 2025 carola with 10k miles for $18k. A better car for cheaper than what I would be paying off of my current car. I told my mom that I was planning to get a new car and if she wanted to sell my current car it would be her decision and she lost her shit. Saying how it’s my responsibility and that it was a “gift” for me and how she “saved” me $10,000 by not transferring the loan. The biggest elephant is that she’s freshly divorced and is looking for a job to support her two younger girls. I told her she can sell the car for about $14-$15k but she refuses and is demanding that I drain my savings to pay for a car that I never agreed to pay for and ultimately was their terrible financial decision. On one hand I don’t feel like I owe her anything and never truly got along with my mom so it is what it is. On the other hand I feel guilty for kicking her while she’s down. Looking for unbiased opinions. Thank you.
What Reddit Said
Redditors overwhelmingly supported the son’s decision to walk away. Most pointed out that since his name isn’t on the loan, it was never legally his responsibility. The top comment advised him to simply park the car in his mom’s driveway and hand over the keys.
However, many users expressed outrage at the mother’s manipulation tactics. They highlighted how she called a $40,000 debt a “gift” while forcing her teenage son to make payments. Moreover, Redditors noted the absurdity of claiming she “saved” him money by keeping the loan in her name.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: Not the Asshole (NTA). This is a clear case where mom stuck son with car debt through manipulation and poor financial decisions. Reddit agreed that the son has every right to stop enabling his mother’s irresponsible behavior, regardless of her current circumstances. This situation exemplifies classic family drama involving financial manipulation.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (2,653 upvotes, 504 comments)