Mother-in-Law Waited Up Late and Lectured Couple Like Teens
The Original Post
My (41m) spouse (42f) and I had plans to go hiking and have dinner with friends. We made our kids (16m and 12f) sandwiches for lunch and called my spouse’s mom and ask to bring the kids dinner because we would be gone into the evening. We also told the kids we would be out late. We have left our kids at home alone multiple times and we fully trust them. We just wanted to make sure they had something decent instead of warming something up, hence asking MIL to bring food. Not once did we ask her to stay nor did we expect her to. We have told her many times, you can stay and watch tv (due to her not having internet) if she wants, but she never has to stay.
My spouse and I have an amazing day with great friends and after dinner, they wanted to go back to their place to hang out more, next thing we know, it’s super late and we get a call from MIL asking where are we. We were just about to head home any way and said we would be home soon. Flash forward to arriving home and my MIL is sitting in the living room of my house fuming. No TV on or anything. I’d love to say she was sitting in the dark, but she wasn’t that dramatic. She starts getting angry at us commenting what time it is and how our 16 year old shouldn’t be up that late. \*Side note, we don’t let him stay up that late all the time, but trying to manage a 16 year old is hard enough as it is. 12 year old had already called it a night and was asleep.
Now I’m a little upset because I don’t like being accosted in my own home and being treated like a child sneaking in. I proceed to tell her she did not have to stay, she was only supposed to grab dinner. She then tells us how disrespectful it is for not telling her where we were and why we were coming home so late. Now, if she had said this in a caring tone, or even worried, this would not be a problem. This came off in a very angry tone. Even when leaving she slammed the front door. Now today she is saying it wasn’t about when we came home but rather she was worried and we did not tell her when we were coming home or where we were. She said “you said you were going hiking and to dinner!” That statement is truth, we just went with the flow and added more onto the evening.
So are we the assholes for not calling her and telling her we would be late even though we had no idea she would be staying past getting them dinner?
What Reddit Said
Redditors overwhelmingly supported the couple in this situation. Most agreed that the mother-in-law completely overstepped boundaries by staying when she wasn’t asked to babysit. However, many pointed out that involving the MIL in the first place created unnecessary complications.
The top comments focused on the control aspect of her behavior. Users noted that she never actually called during the evening if she was truly worried. Instead, she chose to stage a dramatic confrontation to shame the couple for their choices.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: Not the Asshole (NTA). This mother in law waited up late specifically to create drama and assert control over adult parents. While Reddit suggested avoiding MIL involvement in future childcare arrangements, they firmly agreed that her behavior was completely unacceptable. This is classic in-law drama where boundaries were crossed and respect was lacking.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (3,227 upvotes, 1,135 comments)