Man Tries Being Mysterious on Date, Police Get Called

So this happened a month ago. My friends physically cringe when I tell this story in person so I’m putting it on the internet instead.

Met Elena through mutual friends. She’s an interior designer, travels, reads books, has opinions about wine. I eat pasta three times a week and consider that a personality.

My friend gave me advice: “Be a little mysterious. Don’t reveal everything at once. Women love mystery.”

I, a man with zero mysteries and whose most interesting hobby is watching documentaries about bridge construction, decided this was excellent advice.

We agreed to meet outside a café at 7. I arrived at 6:50 – normal. But then I thought: mysterious people don’t stand by the entrance like a bouncer. Mysterious people appear.

So I decided to wait around the corner and emerge when she texted.

Elena texted at 7:01: “I’m here, where are you?”

I started walking out from around the corner.

And at that exact moment a woman runs out of the building opposite and screams across the entire street: **”HE’S THERE, AROUND THE CORNER, I SAW HIM!”**

Turns out while I was standing around the corner looking “mysterious,” the neighbour decided I was casing the building. Called the police. Twice.

I walked out from around the corner directly into two police officers and Elena standing there with her mouth open.

Explained the situation for approximately 15 minutes. One officer was taking notes. The other was trying not to laugh and visibly losing.

The neighbour stood nearby watching me with absolute righteous fury.

Elena said nothing.

Then one officer asked: “So you were just… waiting for a date?”

“Yes.”

“Around the corner.”

“Yes.”

“To be mysterious.”

Long pause.

“Yes.”

The second officer laughed. Out loud. In uniform. On duty.

We were let go. Neighbour goes home unsatisfied. Elena and I are standing on the sidewalk.

She looks at me and says: “Well. You’re definitely mysterious.”

We went to the café. I told her about bridge construction documentaries. She listened for 40 minutes and actually asked questions.

Third date on Thursday.

The neighbour still eyes me suspiciously every time I walk past. I nod at her. She does not nod back.

I hope the officer who laughed is doing well.

**TLDR:** Tried to be mysterious, stood around a corner for 10 minutes, ended up in a police report, somehow got a third date. Bridge documentaries saved the evening. The neighbour will never forgive me.