22F Can’t Get 59M Neighbor to Stop Asking Her Out

A 22-year-old woman repeatedly rejected her 59-year-old neighbor’s movie invitations, but he won’t take no for an answer. After a year of persistence that included multiple door visits, letters, and even banging on windows, he approached her again asking for a date. Reddit had zero tolerance for his creepy behavior.

The Original Post

I 22F am trying to reject my neighbour 59M

Around a year ago my neighbour approached me asking if I’d like to go to the cinema with him, I politely said no and I thought it was the end of it. The next day he came to the door and ask me again I said no. He then posted a letter through my letter box asking again and I ignored it. At this point he came to the door again to make sure I knew he would pay and I said no I’m ok.

By this point I was freaked out, for some context I have anxiety and this neighbour I have known since I was 12 but only in brief conversation, so I decided to tell my mum. When she found out she said to me not to answer the door and she will deal with him. He knocked the door again 7am the next morning and my mum told him he was a creep and to back off. Since this he hasn’t really spoken to me accept for a wave in passing.

Until yesterday when he approached me asking again. He said he knows my mum thinks he’s a creepy but he’s just trying to be nice. I was taken off guard and I just said I’d let you know. For context I have seen him this past year but either he was with his son or I was with my mum this was my first time seeing him on my own.

I wanted to make this post because I was helping get shopping out the car and all I could hear was banging on his window and I didn’t look up but when my mum got out the car it stopped.

I feel so anxious all over again and I don’t know what I can say that’ll make him stop.

Thanks for any advice in advance.

Edit:

Just thought I’d give some more information;

I was stern and told him no very firmly all the times he came to the house. The time I said I’d let him know I was on the side of the street not outside my house so I felt the need to be nicer just because I was going to have to walk a little to get back into the house.

I’m from the UK just for added information.

We have cameras on our house that we added after the first few run ins with him but he hasn’t come to the house since then.

I’ll try to reply to everyone I can, thanks for all the replies I really appreciate it, I’m not going to continue to be polite just to spare his feelings and try to maintain what I was trying to convince myself was peace. Thanks again.

What Reddit Said

Redditors were absolutely furious about this situation. The consensus was immediate and overwhelming: this is harassment, not “being nice.” Moreover, commenters emphasized that OP needs to stop being polite to someone who is clearly making her uncomfortable.

The top advice focused on direct confrontation. However, users also stressed the importance of involving authorities if the behavior continues. In fact, many pointed out that OP already has grounds for a restraining order given the pattern of persistent unwanted contact.

The Verdict

Reddit’s verdict was crystal clear: this older neighbor harassment rejection situation requires immediate action, not politeness. The community unanimously agreed that OP should directly tell him he’s being creepy and threaten police involvement. This represents a classic case of harassment stories where being “nice” only enables bad behavior. Therefore, the advice boiled down to one message: stop protecting his feelings and start protecting yourself.


Original post from r/relationship_advice (2,084 upvotes, 498 comments)

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