Parked on My Lawn? Enjoy Scraping Lipstick Off Your Car

I live opposite a pub and they have a popular live music evening on Mondays. It’s always hard to park around here when that happens. I came out to walk over and listen to the music yesterday and … someone has clearly found it so hard to park that they had parked ON MY LAWN. Yup. Driven up over the curb and nestled their piece of crap car between my flower pots and parked on the manicured grass.

I went into the pub to ask whoever it was to move and I saw one of the musicians look shifty but he didn’t own up. Or move. Fine.

I went into the house and got a pen, some postits, some extra sticky duck tape and a bright red cheap extra-stay lipstick.

I wrote DO NOT PARK HERE in bright red lipstick on every single window including the little side ones at the back.

Then I wrote NO PARKING on four or five of the postits and stuck them to the front and back windscreens with a ludicrous amount of duck tape, about two feet per postit.

I knew full well that whoever had parked there was probably watching me through the pub window. I hope they also enjoyed their drive of shame home, scraping the duck tape glue off the glass, and working out the rock hard set lipstick.

Then I went to bed.

In the morning the car was gone and this afternoon I dug a new wooden post into the gap they had driven in so it can’t happen again.