The Original Post
I’m in my late 20s dating a woman in her late 20s. We’ve been together about 6 months and I want to start to talk about longterm plans, potentially moving in together, marriage and kids someday.
About 7 years ago, my parents passed away and since I was an only child, I inherited their house. It’s fully paid off. I rent out the upstairs currently and live in the basement after I renovated it to be it’s own separate unit. Because of their life insurance and other assets, I’m financially secure and technically don’t need to work. I have a job but it’s not like I make 6 figures or anything.
The house is my childhood home and has emotional value to me. I’ve already decided I will never add anyone to the deed, even if I get married. If I have kids, I would structure things so the house passes directly to them, I guess through a trust. Same thing with the inheritance money. I’m fine using income or growth from it to build a life together, but the core inherited assets themselves would always remain legally separate.
If I ever get married, a prenup would be mandatory for me. It wouldn’t just cover the house, but also clearly define that my inheritance remains separate property.
This isn’t about assuming divorce or not loving someone fully. It’s about protecting what my parents left me and making sure it ultimately benefits my children. I have a friend that ended up not getting anything from their mother when she died because she left everything to her 2nd husband and I refuse to even let that be an option if I have children.
I haven’t brought this up yet because we haven’t been dating that long. But I don’t want to waste her time as we get more serious if this is unacceptable to her.
I definitely don’t want to profit off her if we move in together. If we moved into my place she would never have to pay anything to maintenance or property tax, only utilities and groceries. And if that seemed weird for her I’d be happy to move into a separate place together and split costs. I don’t want to have this be viewed as me being controlling or worried it’ll sound like I’m planning for failure before we’re even engaged.
How would you approach this conversation? And if you were in her position, would you want to know this sooner rather than later?
What Reddit Said
Most Redditors supported OP’s desire to protect inherited assets through a prenup. However, many emphasized the importance of structuring it fairly for both parties. The top comment suggested including provisions to compensate the girlfriend for any financial contributions to the home.
Meanwhile, some users raised concerns about the long-term implications. They pointed out that a wife could lose her family home of decades if her husband dies and the children inherit everything. Moreover, Redditors stressed the need to discuss broader relationship goals before diving into prenup specifics.
The Verdict
The consensus was clear: wanting a prenup for inherited house protection is reasonable, but timing and fairness matter. Most agreed that six months is early for detailed prenup discussions. However, being upfront about non-negotiables is better than wasting time. This situation highlights the complexity of relationship advice when significant assets are involved.
Original post from r/relationship_advice (1,291 upvotes, 784 comments)