Army Vet Asked to Fund Retirement Gift After Getting Nothing
The Original Post
I retired from the Army reserve after 22 years in the summer of 2024. I got nothing as a parting gift from any level (unit, BN, BDE, etc.). I didnāt really care. I was just happy to be retired and have put that phase of my life behind me.
This past week I was asked over text by the same guys who couldnāt be bothered to give me so much as a certificate of appreciation on a piece of A4 if I wanted to contribute to a gift for another guy who is retiring soon. They plan to get him a 1911.
I told them I would but kind of jokingly reminded him I didnāt even get a used Starbucks gift card when I left. I didnāt get a reply. Waited a couple days and let him know that I really wasnāt trying to be an ass if it had seemed like it but that I was caught a little off guard being asked to contribute to such a gift after having received nothing and that it was a bit of a gut punch.
Iāve still heard nothing back. Itās not like these guys are just casual acquaintances. Iāve deployed to the Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, etc. with these guys and a couple even stood at my wedding. Known a few of them for nearly 20 years. I still have heard nothing at all. Just crickets.
So AITA for reminding the same people asking me to contribute to a pretty significant retirement gift that they got me nothing. I did chip in and throw $100 in the Venmo. And still nothing.
\- edited for a typo
\- Edit # 2 for those who keep asking why I sent money and for those who will. Iāve spent a decent bit of my life in some pretty shitty places with the guy theyāre organizing this for. One of the best guys out there. Sure heās one of the guys that could have done something when I left but me leaving empty handed doesnāt mean he should. Iām happy to contribute. I simply pointed out a fact when asked to do so.
What Reddit Said
Reddit overwhelmingly supported the veteran’s position. Most users felt his friends’ silence after his comment revealed their guilt and embarrassment. However, many praised OP for still contributing $100 despite the slight.
The top comment captured the sentiment perfectly: his buddies now realize their mistake but don’t know how to acknowledge it. Meanwhile, users emphasized that true friends should be able to discuss hurt feelings openly. In fact, several veterans chimed in with similar experiences of being overlooked during retirement.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP is Not the Asshole (NTA). This retirement gift contribution drama highlights a painful double standard among longtime friends. Moreover, OP handled it maturely by still contributing despite his justified hurt feelings. This is a classic case of friendship drama where loyalty wasn’t reciprocated equally.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (2,260 upvotes, 159 comments)