School Mixes Up Twin Sons, Demands Parents Make Them “Dis…
The Original Post
I have twin sons (aged 11) who are not identical, but who do look similar – their older sister looks pretty similar to them too.
“James” is taller and slightly more slender in the face. “Ben” is more freckle-y and is noticeably paler. They have the same eye and hair colour, but James has longer hair, and his is more wavy than Ben’s. James tends to be very neat and tidy while Ben is, somehow, always covered in ink and / or paint.
In school, they are in uniform so are dressed identically. Classes are split by ability but their scores are close enough to each other that they are in the same groups for everything though they have different friendship groups and different hobbies. Both go to Chess Club though that is the only club / sport they have in common and most of the time, they don’t interact much in school and each does their own thing. They have, however, when asked, told me they do sometimes get called the wrong name still even though they have been there since September.
Both boys have permission to take medication in school due to seasonal allergies and eczema – antihistamines and eczema cream is stored in school for the boys to access as and when needed.
They use different medication and creams which is personal preference – one has liquid and one has tablets and they use different creams as they find different ones helpful. I have sent in the permission slips and meds and left it at that.
I got an email over the holiday regarding the medication. It states the instances of the boys being mixed up are “not reducing” as they look so similar and the Medical Officer (secondary schools in the UK do not have a school nurse) is concerned the wrong child will be given the wrong medication. As such, she has asked me to ensure the boys are “easy to distinguish” going forwards.
My initial reaction is absolutely not. It is up to the person administering the medication to ensure they are giving it to the right person and that can easily be done by asking the child what his name is. They are 11 years old, they are more than capable of giving the right name and have no interest at all in swapping places for the sake of getting each others meds. I do understand the concern in terms of making sure the right medication is given to the right child, but the responsibility for that lies solely with the school while they are in the care of the school, and I will not be send them back after the holiday looking in any way “easy to distinguish.”
WIBTA if I told the school it was their responsibility to make sure they have the right child, not mine?
What Reddit Said
Redditors were absolutely furious with the school’s ridiculous request. The top comment delivered a perfectly sarcastic response letter that had everyone applauding. Most users pointed out that asking a child their name is basic competence, not rocket science.
However, some suggested taking a diplomatic approach while still making the point clear. Meanwhile, others shared horror stories of their own experiences with incompetent school staff. In fact, many parents chimed in with similar frustrations about schools shifting responsibility to families.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP would Not be the Asshole (NTA) for telling the school mixed up twin sons medication is their responsibility to prevent. This is a clear case of parenting issues where institutional incompetence tried to become a family problem. Moreover, Reddit’s savage suggested responses proved that sometimes school drama deserves a sharp reply.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (10,145 upvotes, 1,698 comments)