She Left Her “Perfect” Husband – Now She Wants Him Back
Picture this: You walk away from an 18-year relationship because you feel like you’re drowning, only to realize three years later that maybe you threw away the love of your life. One woman’s story on Reddit has the internet divided, and honestly? Buckle up, because this emotional rollercoaster will have you questioning everything you think you know about love, compromise, and knowing when to fight versus when to walk away.
Our protagonist is a 44-year-old woman who made what she calls “the hardest decision” of her life three years ago – leaving her husband of 13 years. And now? She’s living in a basement suite, drowning in regret, and desperately trying to figure out if she made the biggest mistake of her life.
But here’s where it gets complicated (and trust me, it gets complicated).
The Golden Years (Or Were They?)
For the first chunk of their relationship, everything seemed like a fairy tale. They were best friends, travel buddies, and perfectly compatible roommates splitting bills 50/50 in her condo. He was her safe space – the only person she could completely be herself with. They shared the same humor, the same interests, and built what looked like an enviable life together with their dogs.
Sounds perfect, right? Wait for it.
The cracks started showing when they decided to level up their life together. They sold her condo and bought a house – you know, that classic relationship milestone that either makes you stronger or completely destroys you. Plot twist: it was definitely the latter.
When Dreams Become Nightmares
Here’s where things get messy. After selling her condo left her with some debt, they created what seemed like a reasonable division of expenses. He’d handle the mortgage and property taxes (he made almost twice her salary), while she covered literally everything else – utilities, groceries, home improvements, dog expenses, you name it.
But here’s the kicker: he completely refused to discuss finances. Not just avoided it – we’re talking full-blown stonewalling. No budgets, no planning, no communication whatsoever about money.
And when I say this became a problem, I mean it became the problem. When their furnace died and their roof started failing (because houses are expensive nightmares that way), her husband’s solution was essentially *shrugs* “I don’t know, I have no money.”
Can you imagine? You’re watching your home literally fall apart around you, and your partner – who makes twice your salary – just… gives up? Meanwhile, you’re the one expected to somehow magic solutions out of thin air?
The Slow-Motion Breakdown
What happened next is honestly heartbreaking to read. Every attempt at communication became a toxic cycle. She’d try to address problems, he’d shut down or storm off, she’d follow trying to resolve things, and it would spiral into circular arguments that never, ever got resolved.
The stress literally started eating her alive. She developed insomnia and health issues, ended up sleeping in the basement, and admits she became angry and resentful. She said awful things during fights because she was desperate to be heard over his constant talking-over and dismissing of her concerns.
Here’s what’s wild about this situation – she was simultaneously being told she had a “bad attitude” and was “never satisfied” while also being expected to single-handedly solve all their problems. Make it make sense.
The Great Escape (And Its Aftermath)
Three years ago, she reached her breaking point and left. From his perspective, she just “decided she hated him and their life and packed up and left one day.” But from hers, it was the desperate act of someone who felt like she was on a sinking ship with a captain who refused to acknowledge the water flooding in.
Now here’s where this story gets even more frustrating. Remember how he avoided discussing finances during their marriage? Well, surprise – he’s doing the exact same thing with their divorce. He ignores lawyers’ letters, bailed on counseling at the last minute, and gives non-answers like “I don’t know” when asked if he wants to be divorced.
Meanwhile, she’s living in a basement suite having received zero dollars from him, while he’s comfortable in their house living the same lifestyle as before. She even continued paying their bills for a full year after leaving to help him get on his feet. And his response? Radio silence.
The Plot Twist Nobody Saw Coming
But wait – here’s where this story takes a turn that has Reddit absolutely divided. After focusing on her health for two years and getting some clarity, she’s now convinced she made a terrible mistake. She misses everything about their old life – his company, their home, their routines, their holidays together.
She’s looking back with rose-colored glasses, seeing all the ways she “failed him” and could have “tried harder.” The regret is eating her alive, and she’s desperate to fix everything and get back to what they had.
And this is where the internet had some THOUGHTS.
Reality Check From The Masses
The top comment, with nearly 2,000 upvotes, didn’t mince words: “I think you are romanticizing the past big time. Nowhere in what you wrote could I read something positive about this guy.” Ouch, but also… fair?
Another highly-upvoted response called out the pattern perfectly: “He wants to BE the provider and take care of everything, but has no idea what he’s doing and resents you for being able to do what he can’t. He won’t ask for help or work with you because HE wants to be in charge. Meanwhile everything is falling apart because he is in over his head.”
The consensus seems to be that she’s mourning a relationship that was already dead, and mistaking familiarity and routine for actual compatibility and love.
The Million-Dollar Questions
So here we are, three years later, with a woman trapped in limbo – unable to move forward but unable to go back to a life that was slowly destroying her health and sanity. She’s second-guessing a decision that took incredible courage to make, wondering if she gave up too easily on love.
But here’s what I keep coming back to: Is it really love when your partner consistently refuses to communicate about the things that matter most? Is it a partnership when major decisions and problems fall entirely on one person’s shoulders? And most importantly – when someone shows you who they are through years of avoidance and stonewalling, shouldn’t you believe them?
What do you think? Is she romanticizing a relationship that was fundamentally broken, or did she give up too quickly on something worth fighting for? Have you ever left a situation only to wonder if you made the biggest mistake of your life? And when is missing someone a sign you should go back versus a normal part of grieving what you’ve lost?
Sometimes the hardest part of making a difficult decision isn’t the decision itself – it’s living with the aftermath and trusting that you chose the harder path because it was ultimately the right one.
📊 Post Stats:
- Original upvotes: 1,530
- Comments: 663
- Reading time: ~5 min
💭 What do YOU think? Drop your take in the comments below!
Story originally shared on r/relationship_advice. Read the original discussion