The Original Post
My bio dad has been dead since I was a baby. I have zero memories of him and for a good amount of my childhood I had no father figure. Sure my mom and my siblings told me stories about him but that isn’t the same as actually knowing someone.
When I was eleven my mom married Jim ( fake name). He became my father figure while my sister only tolerate him. This is when my relationship with my sister and I started to fall apart.
She has always been mad about me replacing “dad”. She would make me feel bad about thinking as him as my father figure and that I was betraying “bio dad”
Our relationship got better after she went to college. The issue is I was looking through old photos with my mom and we saw a few of my bio dad at a themed park with my siblings.
Apparently before he died he would do little theme park trip with the kids. I asked Jim if we could go to a theme park and have some pictures.
He agreed and we went this weekend, I had a great time and posted some pictures on instagram.
My sister don’t take it well… we got into an argument. She claims I have been betraying bio dad and basically how dare I do something that bio dad did with them but with Jim. I pointed out that I see Jim as my dad. That I literally call him dad.
It went on for a while, qnd she told me I was being a bad daughter for replacing him. I had enough and told her that our bio dad ain’t my dad, that my dad is Jim and if she can’t accept that then maybe she ain’t my sister either.
She went to my other sibling and I am basically being told to apologize. I don’t want to, I am sick of her making me feel bad that I think of Jim as my dad and I don’t even remember bio dad at all
it wasn’t even the same themepark, the one we went to opened last year
———-
Update: I talked to my grandma and she helped me come up with a list about all the times my sister made me feel bad for having a relationship with Jim. It was pretty long and I have decided to take a step back from that relationship.
i am tired of feeling bad for having a father figure. I should not have to hide that I like my dad or be screamed at becuase I made him a Father’s Day card ( happened multiple times, and she even ripped one of them up)
i hope my sister get she help she needs but I am done. She is 22 , and should not be screaming at me over this.
My relationship with him doenst affect her at all.
For everyone thinking this was spite it really wasn’t. it was me living my life and I don’t wish to walk on glass around her anymore
I should be able to go on a dad-daughter day and post about it without being screamed at.
What Reddit Said
Reddit was split on this explosive family confrontation. Many users sided with OP, arguing that her sister was being selfish and cruel. They pointed out that OP should be allowed to bond with her father figure without constant guilt trips.
However, others felt both sisters handled the situation poorly. These commenters acknowledged that while the sister was wrong to police OP’s relationship, telling her “maybe she isn’t my sister either” was deliberately hurtful. They emphasized that the older siblings actually remembered and grieved their biological father.
The Verdict
The consensus leaned toward NTA (Not the Asshole), though many called it ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). Most agreed that OP shouldn’t have to hide her relationship with her stepdad or feel guilty about having a father figure. This classic case of family conflict highlights how grief and resentment can poison sibling relationships. Moreover, the sister’s behavior—including ripping up Father’s Day cards—crossed clear boundaries in this stepfamily drama.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (2,237 upvotes, 397 comments)