Sister Brings Boyfriend to Family Home Without Notice
The Original Post
Per my last post here, this quandary is owing to my unusual living situation: I rent my childhood home from my mother, who lives in her second home elsewhere. I make a pretty small wage in an extremely expensive city, so while I would like to just have my own place, itās not going to be feasible for a long time (my current company is even on a pay freeze).
My sister makes substantially more than me but lives in a busy house share the other side of the city. Her bf lives in essentially poor student accommodation in a different city. Sheās recently been saying that she feels sheās outgrowing her house share, and that she and her partner find it really stressful staying there because of how busy it is, and they canāt get much peace together.
All that to say that last weekend they came to stay here in the family home, and then added two additional nights onto the stay without letting me know because they were enjoying the space. Now Iāve just had five hoursā notice that theyāve decided theyāll be staying here again, because the bf āreally got stressed at the idea of staying in her house shareā.
I basically said that Iām not okay with having such short notice, and Iām also not really happy if theyāre trying to make this a regular thing: this isnāt an alternate place to stay for me, this is my only home, and I donāt appreciate a couple showing up whenever they want to get some space, and in doing so taking mine. My sister is angry because she says itās her childhood home too and Iām not the one to say when she can or canāt come and who she brings.
And of course my mum wants to stay out of it lol.
So tl;dr AITA for trying to stipulate when my sister can or canāt bring her bf to stay in the family home that I rent on an individual basis. Mouthful.
EDIT: some info
1. Iām not objecting to them staying at all. Last week they were going to a game nearby so it felt like it wouldāve been unreasonable to complain. Iām complaining about showing up at short notice, for indefinite periods, and regularly in a house thatās my full-time residence
2. I donāt pay market rate – me and my mum agreed an amount based on a suitable proportion of my income, and I regularly check in in case she wants increases. Sheās currently happy with what Iām currently paying.
3. My mum sort of takes my side – in that she says she wouldnāt want them coming by as they do in my position – but wonāt lay down the law personally because she doesnāt want to alienate my sister.
4. There is an official written agreement stipulating me as a tenant and my mum as the landlord.
What Reddit Said
Reddit overwhelmingly supported the original poster’s position. Users emphasized that having a rental agreement makes her a legitimate tenant with full rights to control guests. Moreover, they pointed out that the sister’s behavior was inconsiderate and entitled.
The top comment received over 2,000 upvotes for clarifying the situation perfectly. However, many users also noted that the sister’s “childhood home” argument was completely irrelevant. In fact, several Redditors compared the situation to treating someone’s home like a free Airbnb.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP is Not the Asshole (NTA). This is a classic case of family conflict where boundaries needed to be established. The sister’s claim about it being her childhood home doesn’t override the renter’s tenant rights, and showing up with her boyfriend on short notice crosses clear boundary issues.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (1,414 upvotes, 373 comments)