edited to be clear

This started soon after my brother married Ruby. At the time everyone seemed to really like her and my older sister and I were part of her bridal party.  Her wedding was around 5 years ago.

Soon they were talking about trying to kids and they were stuggling with infertility issues. Ruby was quite upset  but it got a lot worst when my older sister ( she was 26 at the time) got pregnant.

Ruby was snappish and mean to my oldest sister and people tried to be very mindful since she was struggling. When the baby was born Rudy didn’t send anything.

I got pregnant my senior year of college, it was an oops baby and I only told my mom because I was unsure what to do. I was a heavy drinker at family events and when I wasn’t drinking, my grandma joked I must be pregnant and my face gave it away. That is how it came out, I didnt plan to tell the family like that.

Ruby ( in short) lost her shit at me. She yelled at me about how I don’t deserve a kid and called me a lot of names. My mom tried to make her stop but she yelled at her also, and told my mom she deserved the still birth she had. The whole thing was horrible.

When I gave birth and I posted pictures online, she made a post saying some people don’t deserve kids. She has not apologized.

The issue, Ruby is pregnant and she is having her baby shower. All the women in the family got an invite. I talked to my mom about it and decided not to go. My mom is also not going and everyone seems to be following my lead on this.

We all RSVPed no and my brother called me asking me to come. I told him no and it started an argument. He says his wife has been crying about being hated by the family and want everyone to make up. I told him that isn’t my problem and this is her fault.

He wants me to suck it up and come still and has texted me multiple times about it.

I know if I don’t go no one else will especially since my mother hates Ruby after that argument

edit: becuase people asked, no we probably won’t have a relationship with the baby If nothing changes. I already don’t allow my kid near her, I have a strict if you are dick to me you don’t have access to my kids ( sister has the same)

Mom probably will not be a grandparent to the child either, she will not put up with someone she hates to have access to a kid ( she is not that type of person)