My sister’s husband and I dated for about a year when I broke things off because I wasn’t in love with him. He didn’t take it well. The reason I didn’t love him was because (and it could all be in my head) I felt that he wasn’t wjat he seemed to be. Everyone was shocked that I refused such a great guy and I really couldn’t say anything because on the outside he was perfectly in love with me and cherished me. So I stayed silent because I couldn’t talk badly about him when it’s just in my guts. When he started seeing my younger sister, I felt like my gut feeling was right because why not just start over with another family. When I expressed my feelings to my sister she got defensive and I didn’t blame her because he is just a perfect gentleman.

When he proposed to her I was very desperate and bluntly asked her how he was in bed and she was very upset and called me disrespectful and disgusting. I felt so ashamed that I literally ran away in tears. All my gut feeling started when he grabbed my neck when we were intimate one day. I pushed away his hand. Next time he squeezed a little bit before letting go and since then I saw him in different light and I ended the relationship. I know it might not be a big deal but for me it gave me stomach ache that the idea of him touching me made me want to faint. Anyway I didn’t handle it well when I tried to ask my sister. She just thought that I was perverse and that they’re very compatible.

My daughter is 13 and I was never together with her father because he lives abroad. I have a very cordial relationship with bil. I am close with my sister. My sister mentioned how her husband thought my daughter looked a lot like me when she was 5 and everyone thought it was endearing. For me it just made me feel sick. Then once again he said it last summer on her birthday. I can’t put words into how I felt because what if they’re completely baseless and I am just being a moron? I am fully aware that this all could be in my head.

Now for about 3 years, my sister and bil have invited all the cousins to their cottage to ski every winter and I have refused to send my daughter because the idea terrifies me. I don’t know what I am scared of but it becomes dark whenever I think about the way he is very calm and cordial when talking to me but like sometimes I see something dark in his eyes when he thinks I am not looking and to make such comments about my daughter that are more than normal but for me coming from him makes me want to cry.

I am just rambling here and I don’t care to proofread so maybe I missed saying how he was devastated when I broke up with him and when begging didn’t work he told me that his mistake was to have been kind to me instead of showing me how to properly respect him.