The Original Post
I (24F) have a younger sister (21F). We’re not really close, but we’re not enemies either. We always had a competitive sibling dynamic.
About two months ago, she told me she was pregnant. It wasn’t planned, and she was freaking out about how our parents would react. They’re pretty traditional and can be judgmental.
She made me promise not to tell anyone. Like full you cannot say a word until I’m ready serious. I agreed but I was hesitant about it.
She still lives at home, and I visit my parents pretty often. My mom kept making comments to me about how my sister has been “moody” and “gaining weight” and asked if I knew what was going on. Every time, I had to pretend I didn’t. I started getting tired of keeping this up quickly.
I also felt weirdly left out of everything. She wouldn’t update me much, but expected me to cover for her constantly. I was lying to keep her cover but I had no idea what was going on and I felt used.
Last weekend my mom directly asked me if my sister was pregnant. I hesitated and finally gave in, “I think you should talk to her.”
Which obviously confirmed it.
My mom confronted her immediately. It turned into a huge blow-up fight. My sister is furious and says I betrayed her and stole the chance for her to tell them on her own terms.
I told her I didn’t outright say she was pregnant I just didn’t deny it. And honestly, I was tired of carrying the secret around my parents.
She says I made it about me because I was uncomfortable for a few weeks, while she’s been dealing with something life changing.
Now she won’t answer any of my texts.
Part of me feels guilty because I did promise. But another part of me feels like I shouldn’t have been put in that position in the first place.
AITA?
\*\*EDIT\*\*
To everyone saying I should’ve let my sister know I could no longer keep this up & that I wanted to be involved in the situation, I DID. I very clearly told her my concerns that mom was getting suspicious and I could not keep this up for much longer as it was eating away at me to hide it. Her response? It doesn’t matter and she doesn’t care how uncomfortable I feel it’s her decision and not fair to her. From my point of view, it was unfair to put me in this position in the first place. As for being involved, she appeased me with vague updates once a week through a couple words on text. No solid plans for moving forward. I was just tired and done with it.
What Reddit Said
Reddit was surprisingly sympathetic to OP’s situation. Many users pointed out that two months was too long to maintain such a difficult secret. Moreover, commenters noted that the mom was clearly already suspicious and putting OP in an impossible position.
However, some Redditors criticized the mom for asking OP instead of going directly to her daughter. The top comment acknowledged that while the sister had every right to be upset, she failed to create an effective plan before the pregnancy became obvious. In fact, most agreed that OP’s non-denial was understandable given the circumstances.
The Verdict
The consensus leaned toward NAH (No Assholes Here) or NTA (Not the Asshole). This sister pregnancy secret situation highlights how family drama can spiral when communication breaks down. While OP technically broke her promise, Reddit understood that being put in such a position for two months was unfair and ultimately unsustainable.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (2,431 upvotes, 1,220 comments)