The Original Post
January 2025, I told my daughter that I didn’t want her to dye her hair. 1. Bc she’s still too young. 2. The cost to maintain it will be a lot especially when I’m already maintaining her gelX manicure every 6 weeks.
She got her father involved and I expressed those two things. So he asked his wife for her thoughts and she informed my ex that maintaining it doesn’t cost a lot. So I told my ex, that I will only cover her hair cut and I will not help in anyway on my daughter dying or maintaining her hair dying.
My daughter re-touched her hair July 2025. Her father didn’t reach out to let me know. Which is fine, I’m not paying for it and he didn’t care about my thoughts on why I don’t want her to get it.
Now, my daughter wants highlights, the cost is $170. My ex reached out and asked me if I can help. I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. And reminded him of our convo back in Jan 2025. AITA?? Should I help? I want to stand firm but I am also feeling a bit bad, like I’m not helping and a cr@ppy parent.
Edit on the nails: I’m a co-parent. I cannot control what my ex does. I am trying to maintain a decent relationship so I do my part and help with maintaining her nails. I am trying to put my foot down but feeling myself crack just like her nail problem.
What Reddit Said
Redditors overwhelmingly supported the mom’s decision to stick to her boundaries. The top comment pointed out that a teen getting gel nails every six weeks and expensive hair treatments should be old enough for a part-time job. Many users emphasized that $170 highlights are luxury services, not necessities.
However, some commenters noted the challenging co-parenting dynamics at play. They appreciated that OP was trying to maintain a decent relationship while setting reasonable limits. The consensus was clear: parents don’t need to fund every beauty expense their teenagers want.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP is Not the Asshole (NTA). This teen daughter hair dye money dispute highlights the importance of maintaining parental boundaries around luxury expenses. Redditors agreed that expensive salon treatments aren’t necessities for teenagers. This is a classic case of parenting boundaries meeting co-parenting challenges where consistency matters more than popularity.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (2,602 upvotes, 953 comments)