The Original Post
Growing up I (18f) had to do everything with my twin sister Sophie. Well mostly do everything Sophie wanted. If things didn’t go her way she’d throw a huge fit until she got her way. Our whole lives we had to share a brightly colored bedroom. Once in 4th grade I got in trouble because I put a picture of a poorly drawn dragon on the wall because it was “to dark for Sophie” which I thought was ridiculous. Throughout elementary and middle school our mom dressed us up in the exact same or nearly identical clothes because she thought it was cute. In 5th grade our mom had us join ballet because it was something Sophie always wanted to do. When I would ask to join boxing my dad would yell at me for only thinking of myself. My mom would always say that boxing was too rough for Sophie. It got worse in high school. Whenever I wanted to hang out with my own friends Sophie just had to come along or she’ll say im purposely excluding her. When I would have a crush on someone the next day Sophie would be dating him. In senior year Sophie already made up her mind that me and her both are going to college for cosmetology. To sum it all up I couldn’t do anything or do anything with my own life because it had to be what Sophie wanted or I’d get in trouble. As soon as I turned 18 I decided to join the navy. Last night I sat my parents and Sophie down at the table and explained that i wasn’t going to college for cosmetology with Sophie but I’m leaving for the navy. They all started to scream at me that this was selfish and I’m betraying my family. AITA?
What Reddit Said
Redditors overwhelmingly supported OP’s decision to break free from her controlling family dynamic. Most commenters recognized this as a desperate but necessary escape from years of being forced to live Sophie’s life instead of her own. However, some warned that military life comes with its own restrictions and lack of personal freedom.
The top comment humorously noted that OP had simply “replaced Sophie with Uncle Sam.” Meanwhile, other users praised her courage while encouraging her to use military benefits for education. In fact, many saw this as the perfect opportunity for OP to finally build her own identity.
The Verdict
The overwhelming consensus: OP is Not the Asshole (NTA). This represents a classic case where one twin sister controlling entire life pushed the other to take drastic action for independence. Redditors agreed that after 18 years of forced compliance, joining the military was a justified escape route. This falls squarely into family conflict territory where establishing boundaries became impossible without physical separation.
Original post from r/AmItheAsshole (3,868 upvotes, 674 comments)